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Not AlwaysBut pretty close to it. If the parents are already hateful, destructive, even dangerous to themselves and others, divorce can be a blessing for the kids.

The situations that lead to divorce are always very bad for kids. (The divorce itself is the secondary thing). Parents treating each other without respect, having no value for the family, working each other down psychologically, arguing and fighting endlessly -- these all leave imprints on the kids that last a generation or more. If the two people you value and trust most in the world cannot preserve a trusting family relationship, that leaves the child with a legacy of mistrust, fear of bonding with another person, a feeling of dread that all good things end.

The divorce itself cements in the damage done by the situation that preceded it. Courts and lawyers and supervised visits and unaccompanied minor trips on airplanes and sniping by parents at the absent former partner all break down a child's ability to ever have a positive loving relationship.

Further, in the 10 years after the divorce, while men have typically had time to rebound economically, women and children of divorce average 2 socio-economic steps lower. That's right - divorce is most likely a ticket to long term financial crisis and limits for children.

So ... divorce to get away from a dangerous felon ... good for the child.

Divorce for almost any other reason ... very bad for the child.

Read Judith Wallerstein's Unexpected Legacy of Divorce to learn more. See related links below.

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13y ago
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12y ago

Generally not, but they can cause emotional problems.

The divorce does not necessarily do this, however the behavior of the parents toward each other often can severely hurt them.

Yes because then they are separate from both parents

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14y ago

Very tricky answer. It depends on the circumstances. I am married to a divorcee with children. His marriage ended in an amicable way.

Ask yourself the following; Is it more detremental to the children being bought up in an up happy house with together parents, or spereratly, but happy.

Children adapt quickly, as long as you and your spouse can be grown up about it, then the kids should come out of it fairly unscathed.

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14y ago

Absolutely. We suggest family therapy for all parties if they will cooperate. If not, the parent with custody has an ethical obligation to see to it that the children adjust as well as possible. Your state department of children and families should be able to point you in the right direction. Otherwise, call your local mental health association, or look in the phone book under family services or family therapy.

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13y ago

While most divorces do affect the children in a negative way, there are instances where divorce is actually better for the children than for the parents to stay together. For example, if the parents fight a lot, show disrespect to each other, cheat on their spouse, etc., then it's better on the children to not be exposed to this type of environment.

For children to be brought up in such a hostile environment can cause them to have anxiety, sleeping problems, anger issues, etc. Children also tend to blame themselves for problems between a husband and wife, so they certainly don't need to be exposed to a life like that.

Also, if the marriage is an abusive one it can have a negative impact on the children in many ways. They may even grow up believing abuse is what's "normal" in a marriage, which can greatly affect their marriage when they become adults.

If the marriage is truly an unhappy or bad marriage, it can set an extremely bad example for the children, with them not ever learning what a happy, loving marriage really is. And this can result in them ending up in similar marriages when they grow up and marry.

Parents having no marriage is better for the children than living in the middle of a bad one.

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13y ago

No it is not good for the children, these become problem children , and they loose a great deal of love.

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13y ago

Not all the time, but most of the time it does.

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15y ago

No.

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Q: Does divorce distroy children
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