Is it likely that a narcissist's visit with his mother was a factor in a particularly harsh and confusing devaluing episode of a female source after he returned from that visit?

Answer 1

I don't have a definite answer for this. But I will say that although it may have precipitated abusive behavior towards you. There is no excuse for this. You cant wait around all your life waiting for things to get better so he will treat you right. This goes for anyone that abuses, whether it be an N or something else. Abusors have one thing in common they blame everything on others, and wont accept responsibility for their own actions.

answerIt is very likely that his visit with his mother played a factor in his behavior, especially if her behavior towards him was disrespectful. I dated a narcissist briefly and he hated his mother because of the way she treated him as a child, he has absolutely nothing to do with her. Because of his mistreatment, he hates and treats women with utter disrespect, and blamed her for the way he treats women. answerMy ex N used to tell me that I reminded him of his mother. In retrpospect, he treated us both like trash. When she came to visit us once, he was so disrespectful of her I could hardly believe it! Rude, obnoxious...foul-mouthed, you name it!He told me how much he hated her because she left his father. Well, his mother told me that his father was a narcissist and that's why she left him...(Ha! Go figure!)

Your N's mother may have laid down the law to him. Maybe she didn't take his Sh**! So then of course he had to come back and take it out on you.Such babies these N's are. Spoiled rotten!

answerIt is hard to tell if the N hates his mom because she was cruel or does he hate her simply because he is disrespectfull of her. They lie so much you just don't know. The one i knew years ago hated his mom because she was a whore that abandoned his family and when his father remarried he hated his stepmother because they "just didnt get along" .. alot of the HATE is within th N himself. He just cant or wont resolve the conflict and so takes it out on every woman he meets.

One postor put it this way. They spend their whole lives proving their mother wrong by sleeping with every desirable woman they see. It still doesn't make their mother love them so they are never happy.

The second N I met years later and still work with everyday- He stated "NO woman will ever control me. I LOVE women but i HATE my mother" translation: "My mother hurt me. I want control over all woman to feel worthy." There were other red flags too over the last three years but this pretty much says it all.