Is arranged marriage better than love marriage?

Answer 1

Love Marriage Versus Arranged Marriage?

Arranged marriages last longer than love marriages! Here is the reason. For two persons to get along in a close relationship, they have a greater chance of succeeding if they are alike. In arranged marriages - still practiced in Japan - the elders in a family look for a partner, seeking one of similar background, religion and ethnicity. In love marriages, the assumption that "love conquers all" is patently false, for love will eventally fade and then you will be faced with a person dissimilar and often opposed to your lifestyle. This makes the getting along more difficult, resulting in sequential marriages. This does not bode well for kids, for they need both parents to raise them.

More on marriages and their pitfalls in Meyer's "Marriages, Shack-ups and Other Disasters" and Gottman's "Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work."

Love vs. Arranged

Whenever we talk of Indian wedding we try to equate it with arrange marriages. In India the social structure is such that we associate Indian marriages mainly with arrange marriages. Most of us have the feelings that arrange marriage is the concept of Indian society. But history tells us that arranged marriages use to happen even in the Victorian age. The history of England tells us that most of the kings and queens had arranged marriages. In India arrange marriages originated when child marriages was customary in the country. Caste System gave birth to arrange marriages, as the upper caste families didn't want their children to marry outside their community and caste.

The concept of love marriage was a taboo in ancient India as India always had a tradition of arranged marriages. But after World War II and industrial revolution people's perception started changing and they became familiar with the concept of love marriages. In India the influence of the British culture gave rise to love marriages. The idea, which was once a taboo, became more open and acceptable in the Indian society. But this change was seen only among the educated and high society Indians. The rural parts of the country remained ignorant and unaware of love marriages. In spite of the social changes arranged marriage persisted.

Love or arranged marriages is still a debatable topic in the Indian society. People still debate on the issue, which one is better. What should be the basis of the marriage love or social norms? We are still confused about these issues. Education and media played a vital role in changing the perception of the Indian mind. As people started thinking beyond the social customs and traditions of arranged marriages. They realized that they have the right to choose their life partner without any kind of social pressure. It is after all their life. They can decide without having to rely on parents, relatives and matchmakers. This change in the mental set up of the people gave birth to love marriages. Now in India people are open to love marriages. It is no more forbidden in the society. In our country we are having both love and arranged marriages.

If we start comparing love and arranged marriages we will see that both have certain pros and cons. But the common factor in both the concepts is physical attraction. When a man and a woman go out on their first date physical attraction is the deciding factor. Same in case of arranged marriage where the relation starts only after the girl or boy likes each other. But there are certain things, which are found in love marriages and not in arranged. Like spending time together and getting to know each other. Because when you have decided to spend your life together it is important you know the person. There should be metal compatibility and understanding among both, and this can only happen when you spend time together. People may argue that even after knowing each other for so long why people get divorced after a love marriage. It is because when two people are in love they are at their best to impress each other. They behave, they talk and they wear what the other person likes. But it is after marriage that you get to know the real person. There are couples who are still discovering each other even after twenty years of their marriage. This is the actual beauty of a relationship where everyday you discover a new thing about your partner.

In case of arranged marriages the relation starts when the girl and the boy get to know each other in a couple of meeting before the final commitment. Before deciding anything the parents check the family background and financial stability. Which is also very important. Most people think that those who go for arranged marriage are not in an advantageous position, but it's not so you may get the right person for whom you have been waiting. Even in love marriages after many years of courtship people find their partner not suitable and they break up. So it is not about spending time together but successful marriage is all about understanding and respecting each other's feelings, love and concern. It is argued that love marriages offer more independence and freedom as compared to arranged marriages since both of them know each other so the social and family pressures are less. If you know somebody before marriage it allows partners to have better respect and understanding for each other's needs and desires. In love marriages expectations are more compared to arrange marriages, as they know each other and want their partner to act in the best possible manner.

Arranged marriages, offer more protection and security to the women as the parents decide the family. Parents make use of their maturity and decision while choosing suitable spouses for their children. The decision of parents sometimes helps to make the right choice. But it doesn't mean that arranged marriages are ideal marriages. Even in an arranged marriage there is a different sort of social pressure. Social evils like dowry, caste system, matching of horoscopes and community issues are taken at such extreme levels that people don't support arranged marriages. So whether it is love or arranged ultimately it is up to the individual to decide, which one to go for.

Love or arranged both are based on empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and concern. So it's not just about initial love and attraction it needs a lot of dedication and effort to sustain a marriage. There is nothing like an ideal marriage it's all about the way you perceive your marriage. After all you should be happy with your life partner irrespective of love or arranged marriage.

A bit more:

It can be said there are good arguments for and against arranged marriages vs marriage for love. But there are so many components to a good marriage that there is not an easy 'yes' or 'no' answer to this question.

A good marriage is based on love, respect, trust, committment, compatibility, loyalty, common views and opinions, and being willing to constantly work on your marriage. And you have to be good to each other, as well as good for each other. Think of a marriage as a living, breathing being, which needs constant nurturing. You can't neglect it, nor can you abuse it, and expect it to work.

For more on how to have a good marriage see the related link below.

Answer 2

Yes. They are as successful as love marriages.

There is a culture and tradition that surrounds arranged marriages, and in most cases they end up being more successful than marriages based on love.

In arranged marriages they are usually set up by the parents of the two involved who make sure that they are matched well in their background, social status, culture, and religion. This gives the pair a lot in common, as well as a great support system.

Answer 3

Arranged marriage or love marriage is just a mind game & is a perception which varies from person to person. Though you have known your partner very well before marriage, being married and living together is totally a new experience. Hence we need to remove these mental blocks that we have created on perfect type of marriage from our mind and just do what suits us the best. For more read here marriageextra.com/love - marriage - vs - arranged - marriage

Answer 4

• Love marriage is based on love between the two partners. It may ignore all the mindful rules of equivalences (in age, in religion, in income, or in social class)
• Arranged marriage is based on the rules of age suitability, religious teachings and rules, social class equivalence, and the grand family good relations. It may be based also on mutual interests and benefits.

Answer 5

It's hard to say, but arranged marriages are more popular in RELIGIOUS circles.