Love versus Arranged Marriage?

Without question arranged marriages last longer. When the elders of two families match bride and groom, the couple is usually of the same religion, culture and social standing. Often they have even known each other growing up. Alikeness is the criterion that makes them last.

Love marriages are the invention of our culture. The phenomena of "falling in love" is no more than a Hollywood invention. For, once the glow of the visceral excitement ebbs and the real world returns, partners in "love marriages" struggle to get along with each other. For "alikeness" is the criterion that holds a marriage together. Read more about "alikeness" and the "Tit for Tat" solutions in Meyer's " Marriages, Shack-ups and Other Disasters" and Gottman's "Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work."

ANSWER:

Love feels good and creates happiness. Arranged is based on money, and if U think that compatible sex is going to happen in such a case U R dreaming. Arranged marriage is so that males can dominate females and abuse them, period.

In arranged marriage the boy will get married to the girl even if he does not like her

Love never will grow between the boy and girl. So do not go for arranged marriage

In love marriage the smart boys who know how to get girls in bed will use their tricks on the girl.

Girls are emotional

The rule is simple make a girl feel good and she will sleep with you, she will run away from her house for you, she will change her religion for you. You have only one thing to do just make her feel good. Never tell her she is wrong. Never talk logic to a girl.

Make them laugh always without fail

You will 100% get the girl you want

love marriage.

Love marriage of course!

Love marriage or arranged marriage- my answer refers to Sri Lankan Culture:

If the question was posed to an adult in late 50's he would probably say that arranged marriage is the best. The reason may be the fact that they didn't have any other option than that or simply, they would have heard about a love marriage. but over the time, the ideologies of the generations have changed so much that most of the youth believe in love marriage. this drastic change of ideas may be the consequence of the economic, social and cultural facts. however, the issue is worth analyzing as marriage is the basic social institution which facilitates the continuation of a race, a nation or even a humanity and some times, the marriage can solve cultural and social problems too.

the institution of marriage has different perspectives in various societies. in the context of the Sri Lankan society,Marriage makes an incomplete human being a complete one. It makes him/her a grown up and gives him/her responsibilities whether those responsibilities are to feed and clothe the wife or to assist the husband. Marriage is supposed to take a person out of the hectic lifestyle that one is in and place him or her in an organized environment giving them a path to follow in life and a shoulder to lean on. In short marriage arranges one's life. Good marriages create happy individuals and families, stronger communities, and a more stable society. thus, marriage is important. but how it happens play a major role in deciding the outcomes. in Sri Lanka, there are two types of marriages:namely, arranged marriages and the love marriages.

it was the caste system which gave birth to arranged marriages. the upper caste families in the old age did not want their children to marry outside their respective community and the concept of love marriage was considered taboo. but with the passage of time, the concept of love marriage came into existence in Sri Lanka as a result of the cultural invasion of the westerners. the change was seen only among the westernized high society and not to mention, those love marriages too united the families of the same genre as the youth had only little opportunity to mingle with others who are outside their community. it was almost similar to an arranged marriage where a match maker or a an adult in the family propose one party to the other. bit now, the couples who enter into wedlock use their freedom to greater extent. in some families, the husband and the wife are of different religions and even of different nationalities. thus, the scope for love marriage has grown in a tremendous rate.

many young people of globalized world affirm that when known personalities meet, the probability for clashes is low. love marriage is an institution which promotes sympathy,love and understanding whereas arranged marriage is simply an example to prove how people get accustomed to the inevitable. Christopher West states in "A basic Theology of marriage" that "on rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage. but on close examination, it is will be found that it is merely adjustment to the inevitable" the fact emphasize that the couple is away from a happy family life. on the other hand, in a love relationship, the couple go through a "Getting to know you" phase where they identify their boundaries and discuss the other's overall personality. it results in the lower number of problems between the couple in the later stages of life and definitely is a dominant factor in shaping the personalities of children

most of the children of love marriages seem to have positive attitudes about life and the opposite sex. when the parents are open, love and have confidence on each other the positive image into which the children are exposed into set a good example for them. they learn to love respect and understand the value of harmony which is one of the basic needs of the present Sri Lankan society. In analyzing the issue in the point of view of human biology, scientists always say that children of parents who have different genealogical backgrounds are more productive and intelligent than the of the parents within the same genealogical background. with the popularization of love marriage, Buddhist Christian and similar marriages have become a common notion. with regard to the children of such families, broader views about society and talents of high skills are visible than the stereotype children who boast about being a Buddhist or a Christian. as members of a globalized society where diversity is considered a forte, i think we should concentrate on forming children to cater the future demands and love marriage is a good way to start the procedure. when parents are more like friends than husband and wife, the children too learn how to respect each other and foster a loving relationship at the same time. at this point, one might argue that even the couples who enter into the wedlock through arranged marriage too develop a loving relationship with the passage of time. but most of the times, it is visible that most of the old couples who got married in an arranged marriage still have a respect for the partner which sometimes can make them break apart from each other. for instance, our grand mothers never put their needs out to the husband, they would never indicate the husband that they need new clothes etc. not only that, but also, the husband would not even attend a sick wife merely to the fact that they believe that wife is his property of she is somebody who should work for him. even today, such values are adhered by some families and both the parties might suffer if it was an arranged marriage whereas in a love marriage, the lovers has the possibility to break the relationship when they realize that they; are not compatible with each other. thus, there are dangers of falling in love after the marriage as well as choosing the lover.

on the other hand, now a days, the arranged marriage has become a business alliance between two families. Dowry, family status and the caste still play a major role in selecting a marriage partner through arranged marriage. it is thus a business partnership whereby the business is creating a strong family unit. if the dowry doesn't fulfill the expectations of the bride grooms party, the girl may experience a hard time at the home of the bride. this problem can be solved to some extent by living away from the family residence. but the problem gets worsened when the bride groom too consider that marriage is a business. there fore, the individual values matter a lot in choosing the marriage that best suits a person. the dowry problem might not be such a trivial matter for the couples who enter into wedlock by a love marriage., but then, they would have to find way to cope with financial difficulties as in sri lanka, dowry is still considered as the immediate asset that a couple get soon after their marriage. most people invest the dory in a newly built house or a nwe business.

however, i think that other than the economic factors, a marriage offers a great change to an individual's life and its always preferable to have a say in planing your own life. but If it goes wrong you have only yourself to blame in choosing the wrong partner. that can be a problem in the context of a Sri lankan society in which family influences even after marriage to a child's life. if the love marriage was planned without the consent of the parents and the family, they would neglect the new marriage and both the partners would lose the ties with their respective families. in that sense, even a love marriage becomes an arranged marriage as even for a successful love marriage parental consent is a must. but in my idea, it is always better to love and get the parents' permission than marrying the person that the parents and relatives choose. however, choosing the right person is a crucial decision in the process of a love marriage. at that point, the individual should have a good understanding about himself as well as the other sex to make a good selection. sometimes, this might lead to unwanted problems as an individual who is new to the society might get deceived due to money, beauty or even for superficial values. this sort of deceptions are less probable in an arranged marriage as the adults seek for almost all the details of the prospective bridegroom or bride before accepting him/her as a member of their respective family. all these tests analyzations might be the cause for an unrest for a youth on the verge of marriage but i think such compatibility testings too are important irrespective of the way it is done.

thus, both the love marriages as well as the proposed or arranged marriages have pros and cons. choosing the marriage that suits the particular person depends on the society in which he or she live in and the cultural norms in which the particular individual believes in. i my idea., love marriage suits the the present sri lanka which yearn for a prosperous future and a peaceful society