My ex boyfriend is in a new relationship but he still wants to stay in contact with me and he says he doesn't want to loose me and THAT IAM VERY important to him?

Answer 1

If he has obviously moved on and you are trying to move on as well it is best to cut ties with him. He cannot be in a new relationship and expect his new girlfriend to be okay with this - its is best for everyone if you do not accept any of his contacting and do not contact him - its time for both of you to let go and move on. That is very cruel and my opinion is that he only wants to use you. If you were so important to him why did you break up? Shouldn't he have tried to fix what was wrong? A breakup is hard enought, does his current girlfriend know he wants to keep in contact with you? You should move on with a clean slate - not saying that if you see him you should not say hi or be polite, but don't allow him to use some emotional mind trick on you. Good luck! Take note of his actions, not his words. If he didn't want to lose you and feels you are a priority in his life, why is he in a new relationship? By breaking up with you, he CHOSE to lose you. People don't break up because they're scared of their feelings; they break up when they know they don't have the feelings for the other person that they need to stay in a relationship with them.

My hunch is that he wants to enjoy the attention and benefits (possibly sexual) of your company without having to commit to a relationship with you. It's not what you're hoping to hear, but he's putting you on the back burner, and hoping to string you along emotionally, just in case his new relationship doesn't work out. He's being distrustful to both you and his new girlfriend Do you think his new girlfriend is aware of his contacts with you?

As long as you still have feelings for him as a boyfriend and want to be back in a relationship with him you can't be just friends. If you want to see how he truly feels about you, tell him only to contact you again when he is free and willing to be with you (which is not the case now). Until then, he needs to stop contacting you so that you can move on. Let him know that if he wanted to be a true friend to you, he will stop confusing you by imposing himself on you; perhaps one day you can be friends when you have moved on from your feelings for him. If he lets you go he has your best interests in mind; if he continues to contact you, knowing it confuses you he is nowhere near to being a good friend.