Best Answer

Keeping Your Baby at 14-years-old

This is a very hard decision to make. It depends alot on your mindset. I was 15 when I got pregnant. I kept the baby. She is now 17 and has moved out and gotten her GED. Sometimes I wonder if she would've succeeded better in school had I not been so young and been able to guide her better. There are a lot of things I thought I knew at your age that in all reality, only time could teach me. If you think you can give up life as a teenager and devote your time and love to the baby, then you should keep the child. A child will make you feel the best and worst you have ever felt in your life. Please put a lot of thought into this; playtime will be over and adult life will be there overnight.

Here are more comments, suggestions, and opinions from WikiAnswers contributors:

  • Hey well you are probably going through a hard time right know but listen up if your family loved you it wouldn't matter what they thought! Just do what is right for you.
  • I am a 21 year old mother of two, and I would like to say that if you are old enough to make a baby, you are old enough to take care of it. I know from experience that it is very hard, even with someone to help you, but BELIEVE IT CAN BE DONE! I am proof. I had my son 4 days before my 18th birthday. I am currently pregnant with my second child. I graduated high school and I am currently enrolled in college. Mistakes are made daily baby, all you can do is keep your head up, and if you want to keep this child, do the very best you can to be the best you can for your family. I don't believe in abortion and to be honest, it would be very hard for you to carry a child 9 months and then give it up for adoption. But ultimately the choice is yours.
  • A fourteen year old should never have to worry about whether she should keep her baby or not. She shouldn't even have a to worry. It would break my heart if my daughter or niece got pregnant at such a young age, I would feel like I had done a miserable job as a parent. But I could never turn my back on a child who desperately needs help, especially my own. But I really don't believe a 14 year old is mature enough to make the decision whether or not she should keep her baby. Anyone who is not mature enough to think about using contraceptives, is certainly not mature enough to be having sex -- no matter how old you are -- let alone mature enough to raise a child.
  • I think you should keep your baby. I was 16 when I got pregnant. I did not tell anyone until I was 7 months pregnant. I was scared and my boyfriend and i were fighting all the time. Now I would not change it for the world. I choose to keep my baby and now he is the love of my life. I think you are old enough to make a decision. I also think what you choose will be the right one. Being a mother is a wonderful experience. I just wish i would have waited. I would keep the baby if you think that is in the right interest for the baby.
  • Ok..this is a very hard subject. A 14 year old is just that..a 14 year old. She can look older, or she can look still like a child, but no matter what..she is still just a 14 year old in the mind.
That being said, there are exceptions to every rule. Where I come from, girls get married really young. Some as young as 13. My very own cousin was almost 14 when she got married. By the time she had a child, she was 14, she turned 15 2 months before her son's birth. She was, and still is to this day, a very smart, intelligent woman. No one could ever accuse her of not being the best mother on this planet.
  • I think that you should do what you want keep the baby if your dad and mom dont like it move out and live with your baby's dad
  • I am 15 and I thought i was pregnant too so i told my mom and she was there for me she got me the test and stuck by me but she told me that i had to give it up but i told her that i wanted to keep it and well she wasn't a happy camper and i told her that i wanted it she said fine but it turned out that i wasn't pregnant.
  • If you are, keep it, it could be the only chance you get. There is no way I would give up a baby. We girls are so lucky to be able to have babies so don't ever waste that!
  • As others have said - I am the mother of teenage girls (one 17 & one 14). If one of mine came telling me they were pregnant I would gladly help them out Luckily I have done well so far -My 14 year old has a 6 month baby My 17 year old has a 5 year old,right now she is college bound, wanting to be a doctor! To give the baby up for adoption is a very irresponsible decision, and it is selfish, not thinking of yourself but what is best for the baby. A baby deserves to be with their mother. For the birth mother keeping the baby would be the hardest act of selflessness they could have, and the strongest amount of love too. I myself was raised by teen parents.I think they did a wonderful job. I myself had a baby at 12, I have also told my daughters, that if they think they are old enough to dance then they should be old enough to handle the responsibility on their own. I am not a free ride, so therefore they better figure up what it would cost to keep the baby & live on their own. I actually did this just for fun estimate on what it would take to make it as a teen mother. It was really not too much especially if you get financial help from the state.
  • I cannot argue with your experience, nor do I wish to, but I have some first hand experience from another point of view that may also be of value to some one trying to make such a difficult decision. I've delivered numerous young teen moms and several of them have chosen to give up their baby for adoption. This wasn't an easy decision, and they had to come to it on their own. Nevertheless, all of those who made this decision, at least in my experience, were very happy that they did so. They explained it to me as their doing what they felt was in the baby's best interest, putting their feeling at the time aside. I cannot imagine how difficult this decision must have been, but I guess I wouldn't say that it is "irresponsible" to make such a choice. It's an individual's decision that must be made carefully and prayerfully. Should a teem mom choose to keep her child, great! It just means some important adjustments must be made for a time, and help must be given by others for a time. The bottom line seems to be, is it best for the baby? This isn't said with lack of consideration for the mom. But the baby has no say in the matter, so its mother must make the best decision for all. God bless all moms!
  • Just remember it`s your decision. Don`t let your mother tell you no you can't. You're going to have to carry this child for 9 months. Therefore, you, not your mother or father should have the decision to deny you of that child. This child is yours not anyone else's. Ask your parents whether they would agree to help raise her. You still have to go to school and if you don`t and focus all your energy on the baby then your future and the child`s will be horrid. If they refuse to help then it is best to give up the child. Remember fight for your right to be a mother! THIS IS YOUR CHILD! NOT YOUR PARENTS!
  • I'm 33 years old and I have a baby. My husband and I had a very hard time with adjusting to life with the baby, it's very hard work and exhausting. We are financially secure, educated and mature enough to handle our precious little guy. We don't get much sleep, we don't eat as well as we used to, we are lucky if we can take showers. This is a huge responsibility, and we love our son with all our hearts and we are truly blessed to have him. But, it's very hard work. My 15 year old neice has just announced that she is pregnant and she is keeping it. She does not know who the father is and plans on raising him by herself. She does not have a job, she has not finished 10th grade, her mother can barely pay the rent every month, and her dad is not in the picture.
I've been feeling sick since the day I found out. I'm not happy for her. I feel sad for the baby. I can't accept the fact that my neice is going to raise a baby on her own - love is not always enough. You need more than just love. Love doesn't pay the mortgage, or put food on the table. I don't know how she is going to care for the baby 24 hours without getting a break. I hope she doesn't end up neglecting the baby. I am fearful she may hurt the baby out of frustration and tiredness. I don't think she can handle going months without normal sleep. I can't help her because I have my baby and another son. I can't believe she did this to herself. I don't think she should keep the baby - I don't think it's fair to the baby to have a mother like this. It's very scary. This is why I just stay away. I can't handle watching this happen to an innocent baby. A child having a baby. These young girls think it's cool to have a baby of their own. Being in labor is not enjoyable, what your body goes through is very painful. Emotionally and physically after giving birth is not a great experience. You're tired and you just want to sleep - no more sleeping child. Raising a baby is not always sunshine. It's work. You will worry about this child for the rest of your life now.... it's a huge committment.
  • I'm trying to understand this all myself, even though I was 15 when I got pregnant, and 16 when I had my Joseph. I'm 40 now and he is 24 I did not get married to Mike his dad, because he wanted to marry me only to give the baby his last name. We were the best friends before we conceived, but afterwords, he left me. I ended up telling my parents when I was 7 months along. I didn't know what to do so I just denied it was happening altogether.
  • Well I got pregnant at 13 and I kept my beautiful baby girl! Her name is Jacinta, I am now 17 almost 18 and let me tell you, I would not recommend a young girl like yourself keeping your baby. It has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I had to quit school so now I am 2 years behind and I will not be graduating with my friends! I suggest putting him/her up for adoption OR a really good option if giving "custody" of him/her to a family member who would like a child and when it is old enough to understand explain to him/her that you are their mother and when you are finished with your schooling or at least a little older than you can decide what to do, there is plenty of time to have kids! I have 2 kids and another on the way and I am happy but not, once I had Jacinta I was kinda of depressed but I loved her and couldn't give her up! My second child's name is Tannor, he is only 8 months old, he is adorable! But I live with my boyfriend/finacee, we have been together since I was 12 we are very much in love, I work full time now! We are getting married soon! If you have no idea who the father is or if the father wants nothing to do with him/her than that makes it even worse for your child! Do yourself and your child a favor, if you love your "un"born child then do not keep it, it will be too hard on you and that will rub off on him/her! It is hard to explain, but you will not be able to handle it at that age, and you need to be available 24/7 for your child, always aware and such! Just remember I have been there done that.
  • I think that you need to look at all factors before deciding on abortion, adoption or parenting.
I am a 19 year old college sophomore. I graduated in the top 20% of my high school class with a 3.7 GPA. I am getting a degree in Child Psychology with an emphasis on behavioral analysis and in three years, I will be working one on one with children with autism. I rent a nice house and I own my own car. I work 40 hours a week in addition to being a full time student. I'm also a mother. I had my daughter Kallyn when I was 14, right at the beginning of my freshman year of high school. She will be five October 5th of this year. She has not hindered my progress one bit...I knew what I wanted from life and she was simply a bonus, not a drawback. My fiance is 21 and his daughter just turned three. The four of us have made a family and while we are not a typical family, we do our best and we are fine. Having a baby is not a death sentence, nor is it an excuse to drop out of school, quit your job and live in poverty. If you are pregnant, I wish you the best of luck. Feel free to email me if you want to talk.
  • Well, I'm 15 now and I have a baby girl of only 2 months and let me tell you its really hard keeping up, but nothing could more wonderful than to see a little piece of you in your arms, but in the same time you feel like crying when the baby cries, but if you're a 14 year old and you think or are pregnant you should keep the baby because if you think about it its not the babies fault its only yours and the daddies fault. So for all you 14 year olds keep your baby I'm not gonna lie and tell you its an easy job because its not, but just try to keep up with the baby and everything will go smoothly. So good luck to all you 14 year old that think or are pregnant.
  • I'm 14 and i have a baby boy called Dylan and his 3 months old. He is the love of my life and im glad i didn't give him up for adoption. He is a little angel and i could never live without him. Its hard being young but i have 4 older sisters who all help me out when i need it. My parents where very disappointed in me but they got over it because there was nothing they could do to make it go away, in the end support me in my decision on keeping him.
  • I think that the decision is entirely up to you. Personally I would never give up my own child for adoption. Just think that you'll never see your baby like EVER again and he/she will be calling mommy another woman. That would absolutely break my heart.
But on the other hand you're only 14 years old. It's difficult raising a child being an adult married woman, let along being a teenager and alone. So if you want to keep the child keep in mind that it's though and you'll have to make lots of sacrifices. If you are willing to do that and work really hard to give your baby a decent upbringing I suggest you keep the baby. If you're not maybe you really should give adoption a serious for your baby's seek. Good luck! And one last thing; talk to an adult you trust and who can help
  • I am 14 years old and think I am 6 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend felt like we were ready to have sex a month and a half ago.My first signs of pregnancy was missing my period (of course). Second my breast started feeling sore and I was having morning sickness.I told my mom.She bought me some pregnancy tests.They both came out positive. She was upset at first but she was pretty understanding. Shes upset about being a 32 year old grandma. Yes a 32 year old grandma. She got pregnant with my 15 year old sister when she was 15. She was taken away and adopted by a nice family. I still need to go to the clinic to know for sure. You know how those "home pregnancy tests" are Through this all I know my mom will be here for me.
If you want your baby you should keep it,but make sure you have someone to help you take care of him/her. I am lucky I have my mom and my boyfriend who has a job. Whatever you choose I hope it goes well.Whatever you do don't abort your baby.No matter what anybody says.
  • From my own experience, I had a child at the age of 17. I kept my child but i see that i am still a child myself. I see myself going through stages my mind is not mentally experienced. At the age of 14 is way too young; 18 was way to young. If I were in this situation and came out pregnant at the age of 14. I would consider adoption there are so many qualified people that would take care of a child with warm open arms. At such an early age after taking psychology classes I understand that your brain is not completely developed yet and at the age of 18 you will feel burned out. It would be nice to try to take care of a child at that age but no one can support themselves at this age.
  • Just because you had a hard time having your baby at 17 doesn't mean others will. I know many mothers who had their babies at 14,15,16 and were very ready for kids now they are older and they love having them, they aren't burnt out at all.
If you want keep your baby keep it. Don't let others change your mind just because they had a hard time doesn't mean you will.I am not going to lie to you and tell you its easy.But once you get used to it,its not that bad its actually kind if fun. I am now 18 I had my child when I was 15. When I found out I was pregnant I still went to school every day to the last month. When one month after she was born I went back to school. I took Reyna to a daycare at my school for women with children. I am now in my senior year. So lets just get one thing straight, a baby is not a reason to drop out of high school or a reason to let go of your dreams. I'm 16 and I have a lot of friends who have given birth at a young age. I don't think its wrong when the child is being treated right but if a mother is careless about her child then its wrong whether your 14 or 26. If you decide to keep the baby I know a school that will accept you with your baby while you finish your education.
  • If I was pregnant I would talk to a person that knew me. It is the hugest decision you will ever have to make, and it shouldn't be made by us. Follow your heart, having a baby is a massive sacrifice to your life, but giving it up would be even bigger.
  • Amanda, I am a 14 year old girl, who got pregnant at the age of 13 and on November 2, 2004. I had my baby she as a girl and I named her Emma May and i did keep my baby. My parents wouldn't let me get abortion they told me if i opened my legs for it Iwas gonna keep her. But to answer your question yes, you should keep your baby if you are pregnant. Emma is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
  • I wish you all could hear what you were saying. I'm 20 years old, no kids, but if I were to have kids at 14, one, my mom would of been extremely upset with me, yeah, she would help take care of the baby, but that shouldn't be her job. She should almost be done raising her children, she shouldn't have to be a parent all over again. That would be why she's a grandparent. She should be able to spoil the baby rotten, take him/her out and buy the most annoying noise-makers, to send home to his/her parents to drive them nuts!
Talk to your parents about it, they really are more understanding than you think. Yes, they will probably blow up and be very irrational at first, but you are their child, and no matter what you do, they will always love you. Sometimes disappointed in you, but never ashamed. My mom always said we would be six feet under if we told her we were pregnant at that age, but she didn't mean it. No parent does. They will love that baby as much as they love their own. But if you are only 14, you can't get a real job, support your child, and be there for your child all the time. It's not fair to have someone else(parents; babysitters; friends) watch YOUR kid all the time while you go out and have fun. Children are a gift from god when you are ready. You have the rest of your live to get married and have kids, but you should enjoy school, extracurricular activities, sports, dances, boyfriends, movies, and just hanging out with friends doing crazy teenage things that will drive your own parents up the wall right now. You are all still just a kid... Granted, if you are pregnant, there is nothing really you can do, you basically have three choices, abortion, adoption, and keeping your baby. They are all personal decisions that shouldn't be taken lightly at this age, let alone any age, but IF and only IF you don't have the means to support your child or don't want your child(which in that case you probably shouldn't have been having sex), along with no help, there are many women who are happily married, financially set, and can't have children. You could probably find someone who will raise your child and give them a wonderful home, who will still let you be a big part of that child's life. Hopefully everything will turn out alright.
  • I think you should find out for real if you are pregnant. I know how it feels to be pregnant I have been there most people think you shouldn't keep the baby. But you need to do what you think would be best for the baby. Because if you are pregnant you need to realize its not going to be all about you anymore. You need to worry more about the baby then anything. So that is the only thing I can really tell you but I do wish you luck with whatever you choose.
  • I believe in adoption. At 14 I met a lady who had an adopted son and that experience changed my life! That day was the day I decided that I would be the mother to kids not born of my womb, though if I ever got pregnant, I'd love the kids the same. I know when I get married, the man I love will have to respect this. As for as I know, I'm perfectly healthy and should have no problem conceiving, but there are just so many kids that need a home that I think it's a gift to be able to have them call you "mom." Any girl who is strong enough to put her child up for adoption, I admire you.
Also, I just want to point out that there is such a thing as "open adoption" where the biological parents can see and know the baby and keep in contact with them.
  • 14 is WAY too young to be having sex. If I were your parents I would be SO mad! Good luck trying to raise the baby and having a good life afterwards. I work with kids like you. I see them everyday. They thought it would be cool to have sex and then they ended up pregnant and are miserable because they are wasting all of their time raising a child. this is the stupidest thing anyone can ever do!
  • I think that she should keep her baby just 4 the simple fact that she is the one who layed up and got pregnant so she should be ready for what ever the out come is. She made the mistake and she should not try to cover it up, and by covering it up is by killing it or putting it up adoption. Just keep the baby please the baby is innocent and it don't deserve to be killed or given away.
I stumbled onto this board by accident, and I am appalled at the attitudes of the majority of the people on here. Although, there have a few voices of reason, and thank you for being there! It seems that most of you really have no clue what you're getting into. You want to be treated like adults, but you're still thinking like children. The overwhelming attitude seems to be that you fully expect and feel that you should be rescued. That someone else (mainly the taxpayers) should foot the bill for your mistakes and your parents/family should spend the next 18 years helping you raise this child. It seems that very few feel any sense of responsibility, or any sense of gratitude for the help that you think you should receive. I've always been a big believer that everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves help and a second chance, but after my brief visit here, I've almost changed my mind.
  • Is the father still with you? If he is, then I believe you can do it. It will be hard, and it will be a burden, but if you follow through, it will be the most amazing experience of your life. You will be so proud and so in love. Congratulations honey, and good luck with everything. I hope you stick through it, because you CAN do it!
  • i believe that is ok for a 14 year old to keep their baby recently one of my good friends gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.. she is only 14. She has had hard times but her mum completely understood as there was really nothing she could do. my friend hid the secret of her being pregnant for 5 months until her mum felt the baby kick. she loves her child so much. She is tired and worn out like all mothers though. she has had to leave school for a year 9. i wish anyone out there all the best.
  • I think the only person who can answer this question is you. I think it all depends on the support system. When I was 14 my friend had a baby. The baby's grandmother actually became the mother. If your parents are supportive of keeping the baby that would be beneficial. But if you don't have a supportive family or the father isn't around, you should think about all of the hopeless couples who cannot have a child and would be wonderful parents. The bottom line is this: What kind of life are you willing to allow your child to have? That is the most important question to ask yourself. Giving a child up for adoption isn't a bad thing. Adopted children are special in that they are chosen. They deserve a good chance at life and whatever decision you make, please give that little one the best chances at life possible. Good luck!
  • NO! I am the daughter, first born, to a 14 year old and it was living Hell. I am totally against abortion but the baby should not be raised by a 14 year old. A baby can not raise a baby. I moveed countless times, she had countless boyfriends, she did not and still does not have a sense of responsibility and as for my 16 year old father, well let's just say he was and still is no where to be found. Please realize the stress put upon the child not the mother. I am not suggesting that all teen moms are that way, but being the child of a teenage mother, I am able to say it's not a good thing. There was no love in the home, my brother was born 2 years later, so therefore she had 2 babies and 2 baby daddies. Neither would help to raise us. We barely had shoes, water, electricity, gas and moving became a way of our lives. To be sincere I still have things packed away for the fear of I may have to move all of a sudden, like we did as children. Sometimes in the middle of the night before the baliff came.
  • This talk of having a baby at 14 is nonsense. I am 16 and that thought has not even crossed my mind. no 14 year old should be think about a baby or even sex for that matter. Yes, I know people that have babies at a young age but they all regret it. Not to say they don't love there babies but they just wish they would have waited.I am not saying go and have an abortion (I am totally against it) I just believe that you are not mature enough and have better things to do than take care of a baby for the rest of your young life.The people writing are only giving you the positive side of pregnancy. They are not telling about the times when you want to go out and can't because you can not find a baby sitter or the times when you are at home taking care of your baby and your "baby daddy" is running around with some other girl. These are things to think about. I also think that if you thought you were grown enough to lay down you are grown enough to take care of the baby. If you are stable and have supporting parents that's good but if you have your baby be responsible. This is for the ones reading this:think about the facts that i mention earlier and just don't put yourself in this dilemma.
  • I think you should keep your baby even if you think your not ready you can learn. i should know i am 14 and had a set of twins two beautiful baby boys with precious green eyes and i would never give them away. but it is hard but i am learning to cope with it every day they teach me something new and every day I learn something even more about mothering. See being 14 and having 2 3 month old sons is hard work especially when u have 2 to care about but my mom helps me some and so does my best friend who had a baby when she was 14 she is 15 now and love s her little girl same as i love my little boys. but even though the decision is all yours i still think you should keep it but good luck and hope you make a choice that is right for you.
  • Hey. I Just turned 15 years old I'm expecting a baby boy. At first i thought about what I should do my family is really hard on the whole topic of "abortion". But I changed my mined I thought about how hard it would be for me to kill a baby .My boyfriend just turned sixteen we've been going through hell since i got pregnant .We are planing on getting married soon. I really do care about him my opinion on this is. Listen i am no one to judge you or anything but i think you should keep the baby because if you thought you were old enough to have sex.You should be able to handle your responsibilities one thing that is real important is that you should not worry about everything that everyone is going to try to say about you cause you are the one that is going to take care of your baby. So keep your head up cause all baby is a miracle and no one can tell you different.
  • The abortion procedure is done with a saline acidic solution injected into the womb of the mother. the solution than rises the temperature of the fluids inside of the mothers womb and heats up the babies body. as this takes place, it also burns the baby while it is still alive. as the baby inhales the hot womb water polluted by the saline acid, the baby's innards are burned causing the heart to stop. 1 in every 300 abortion attempts fail, and the baby is prematurely born and burned.
alive with it through out your life. Make your decision on what you believe is right for you. People will have strong feelings about teenage mums but they will either have to accept it or they don't if you know what I mean. I chose to keep my baby when everyone was telling me not to.My mum was going on at me saying do the right thing, but I knew the right thing for me was not the right thing for her. Even my long term bf (have been with him a year and a half) wanted me to kill my own baby! But I trusted my own instincts. Everything has turned out well. My mother and boyfriend are really excited and mother bought my baby's first present.
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Q: Should a 14-year-old teenager keep her baby?
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