Should i keep contact with him even if he was the one who finished with me. He says he loves me an needs time to think about what he wants. He says he needs to do this if we are to have a future?

Answer 1

If you were to explore human nature you may come to the conclusion that our needs are always based around who we are in this world. When someone tells you that they are in love with you but need to think about what they want, then you have no choice but to step away. There are many reasons for this, but I think the biggest argument for doing that is the preservation of your self asteem. For you there is the torture of waiting, of wanting them and loving them. You wait day by day, afraid to push them, afraid to step away. No matter what their motivations for this decision he/she is telling you they are not sure they want to be with you, you cant escape that. Now spend one moment and ask yourself if this person is honest, dont let your love for them cloud the answer, trust your first internal instinct to answer to that question, is it yes or no. If you know them to be real and honest, then accept that they are taking their courage in their hands and treating you with the respect that you deserve and no matter what the end result of their soul searching, they care about you and understand their responsibilities to themselves and to you enough to be honest. We often have little control in our lives, what we do have control over is how we let something affect us. So what are your rules? Mine would be........... an allowance of time, four, six weeks? I would say to this person I love you and I am willing to give you this time but only this time, I shall expect you decision. Then I would step away, I would fill my days and nights with things that relax me and please me. Under no circumstances would I contact them, I would let them come to me, give them the experience of possibly missing me, let them taste a life without me in it. Please remember the greatest love is one that is given to you freely, because then you will have all of that person. Do you really want anything less ?