What are some funny your mamma jokes?

Answer 1

Yo mamma so fat when she gets on the scale it says "To Be Continued"

YO MAMMA SO POOR JOKES:

Yo mama is so poor that she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags and when I asked her what she was doing she said, "Buying luggage."

Yo mama is so poor that when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!

Yo mama is so poor that she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

Yo mama is so poor that she can't afford to pay attention!

Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said "moving."

Yo mama is so poor that she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

Yo mama is so poor that the bank repossesed her cardboard box.

Yo mama is so poor that she has to wear her McDonald's uniform to church.

Yo mama is so poor that she's got more furniture on her porch than in her house.

Yo mama is so poor that I came over for dinner and she read me recipes.

Yo mama is so poor that she has to take the trash IN.

Yo mama is so poor that she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box.

Yo mama is so poor that she lives in a two story Dorrito bag with a dog named Chip.

Yo mama is so poor that I went through her front door and ended up in the back yard.

Yo mama is so poor that her front and back doors are on the same hinge.

Yo mama is so poor that I saw her wrestling a squirrel for a peanut.

Yo mama is so poor that the closest thing to a car she has is a low-rider shopping cart with a box on it.

Yo mama is so poor that she can't even put her two cents in this conversation.

Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said "Hey miss, lost a shoe?" she said "Nope, just found one!"

Yo mama is so poor that her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

Yo mama is so poor that I went to her house and tore down some cob webs, and she said "Who's tearing down the drapes?"

Yo mama is so poor that I stepped on her skateboard and she said "Hey, get off the car!"

Yo mama is so poor that I walked into her house, asked to use the bathroom, and she said "3rd bucket to your right."

Yo mama is so poor that when I walked inside her house and put out a cigarette, she said "who turned off the heater?"

Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.

Yo mama is so poor that she watches TV on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Yo mama is so poor that she can't even afford to go to the free clinic.

Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.

Yo mama is so poor that her idea of a fortune cookie is a tortilla with a food stamp in it.

Yo mama is so poor that when yo family watches TV, they go to Sears.

Yo mama is so poor that burglars break in and leave money.

Yo mama is so poor that she married young just to get the rice!

Yo mama is so poor that when I went over to her house for dinner and grabbed a paper plate, she said "Don't use the good china!"

Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her rolling some trash cans around in an alley, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Remodeling."

Yo mama is so poor that I threw a rock at a trash can and she popped out and said "Who knocked?"

Yo mama is so poor that we were on a road trip and she stopped by a dumpster and got out. I said "what are you doing" and she said I'm "booking a hotel!"

Yo mama is so poor that I walked into her house and swatted a firefly and Yo Mama said, "Who turned off the lights?"

Yo mama is so poor that when I asked what was for dinner, she pulled her shoelaces off and said "Spagetti."

Yo mama is so poor that after I pissed in your yard, she thanked me for watering the lawn.

Yo mama is so poor that your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo mama is so poor that when I ring the doorbell she says, "DING!"

Yo mama is so poor that she got in an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.

Yo mama's so poor, that her doormat doesn't say "welcome", it says "welfare".

Yo mama is so poor that for halloween, her trick was the treat.

Yo mama is so poor that when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

YO MAMMA SO FAT:

Yo mama is so fat that her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Yo mama is so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh-eating disease, the doctor gave her ten years to live.

Yo mama is so fat that the National Weather Service names each one of her farts.

Yo mama is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "taxi!"

Yo mama is so fat that she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.

Yo mama is so fat that when she gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

Yo mama is so fat that when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.

Yo mama is so fat that she has to iron her pants on the driveway.

Yo mama is so fat that she left the house in high heels and came back wearing flip flops.

Yo mama is so fat that people jog around her for exercise.

Yo mama is so fat that she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the New World.

Yo mama is so fat that you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through!

Yo mama is so fat that that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean...

Yo mama is so fat that when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.

Yo mama is so fat that when she talks to herself, it's a long distance call.

Yo mama is so fat that the last time she saw 90210, it was on a scale.

Yo mama is so fat that light bends around her.

Yo mama is so fat that I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!

Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on Wal-Mart, she lowered the prices.

Yo mama is so fat that when she sat on an iphone, it turned into an ipad.

Yo mama is so fat that people jog around her for exercise.

Yo mama is so fat that she gets group insurance.

Yo mama is so fat that she was zoned for commercial development.

Yo mama is so fat that she walked into the Gap and filled it.

Yo mama is so fat that she comes at you from all directions.

Yo mama is so fat that when she climbed onto a diving board at the beach, the lifeguard told your dad "sorry, you can't park here".

Yo mama is so fat that her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

Yo mama is so fat that she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen.

Yo mama is so fat that when she got her shoes shined, she had to take the guy's word for it.

Yo mama is so fat that when she sings, it's over for everybody.

Yo mama is so fat that when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton to display her picture.

Yo mama is so fat that when she was growing up she didn't play with dolls, she played with midgets.

Yo mama is so fat that she uses two buses for roller-blades.

Yo mama's so fat she blew up the Deathstar.

Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to a buffet, she gets the group rate.

Yo mama is so fat that she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.

Yo mama is so fat that she doesn't eat with a fork, she eats with a forklift.

Yo mama is so fat that the last time the landlord saw her, he doubled the rent.

Yo mama is so fat that Weight Watchers won't look at her.

Yo mama is so fat that the highway patrol made her wear a sign saying "Caution! Wide Turn".

Yo mama is so fat that when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please".

Yo mama is so fat that she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama is so fat that when she gets on the scale it says "We don't do livestock".

Yo mama is so fat that when she tripped on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th.

Yo mama is so fat that God couldn't light the Earth until she moved!

Yo mama is so fat that even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her Liposuction!

Yo mama is so fat that she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.

Yo mama is so fat that she was born on the fourth, fifth, and sixth of June.

Yo mama is so fat that she could fall down and wouldn't even know it.

Yo mama is so fat that the sign inside one restaurant says, "Maximum occupancy: 300, or Yo momma."

Yo mama is so fat that she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Yo mama is so fat that she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo mama is so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Yo mama is so fat that she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

Yo mama is so fat that her bellybutton's got an echo.

Yo mama is so fat that when she turns around people throw her a welcome back party.

Yo mama is so fat that her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.

Yo mama is so fat that a picture of her would fall off the wall.

Yo mama is so fat that when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.

Yo mama is so fat that she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

Yo mama is so fat that she could sell shade.

Yo mama is so fat that I ran around her twice and got lost.

Yo mama is so fat that the shadow of her butt weighs 100 pounds.

Yo mama is so fat that when she's standing on the corner police drive by and yell, "Hey, break it up."

Yo mama is so fat that her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama is so fat that when she runs the fifty-yard dash she needs an overnight bag.

Yo mama is so fat that she can't even fit into an AOL chat room.

Yo mama is so fat that she doesn't have a tailor, she has a contractor.

Yo mama is so fat that she measures 36-24-36, and the other arm is just as big.

Yo mama is so fat that she gets her toenails painted at Lucky's Auto Body.

Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!

Yo mama is so fat that she has more Chins than a Chinese phone book!

Yo mama is so fat that she influences the tides.

Yo mama is so fat that when she plays hopscotch, she goes "New York, L.A., Chicago..."

Yo mama is so fat that NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama is so fat that they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo mama is so fat that she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama is so fat that at the zoo, the elephants throw HER peanuts.

Yo mama is so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her.

Yo mama is so fat that she sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo mama is so fat that she cant reach into her back pocket.

Yo mama is so fat that she has her own gravity field.

Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo mama is so fat that the only pictures you have of her were taken by satellite cameras.

Yo mama is so fat that when she wears a "Malcolm X" T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!

Yo mama is so fat that that she cant tie her own shoes.

Yo mama is so fat that when she lays on the beach, people run around yelling Free Willy.

Yo mama is so fat that she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

Yo mama is so fat that she cut her leg and gravy poured out

Yo mama is so fat that she was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade... wearing ropes.

Yo mama is so fat that she went on a light diet. As soon as it's light she starts eating.

Yo mama is so fat that she's half Italian, half Irish, and half American.

Yo mama is so fat that her waist size is the Equator.

Yo mama is so fat that she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Yo mama is so fat that she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo mama is so fat that when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock at me?"

Yo mama is so fat that we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay for her because we dressed her up as a Toyota.

Yo mama is so fat that that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo mama is so fat that she was cut from the cast of E.T., because she caused an eclipse when she rode the bike across the moon.

Yo mama is so fat that when you get on top of her your ears pop.

Yo mama is so fat that she got hit by a car and had to go to the hospital to have it removed.

Yo mama is so fat that she eats "Wheat Thicks".

Yo mama is so fat that we're in her right now!

Yo mama is so fat that she went to the movie theatre and sat next to everyone.

Yo mama is so fat that she has been declared a natural habitat for condors.

Yo mama is so fat that when she wants to shake someones hand, she has to give directions!

Yo mama is so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

Yo mama is so fat that when she gets on the scale it says "to be continued".

Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to a resturant, she looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo mama is so fat that her neck looks like a dozen hot dogs!

Yo mama is so fat that when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo mama is so fat that she's got her own area code!

Yo mama is so fat that she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy three airline tickets.

Yo mama is so fat that whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo mama is so fat that she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo mama is so fat that her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo mama is so fat that I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

Yo mama is so fat that she wakes up in sections!

Yo mama is so fat that when she lies on the beach no one else gets any sun!

Yo mama is so fat that that her senior pictures had to be taken from a helicopter!

Yo mama is so fat that everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo mama is so fat that she fell and created the Grand Canyon!

Yo mama is so fat that even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo mama is so fat that she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Yo mama is so fat that she got hit by a parked car!

Yo mama is so fat that they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Yo mama is so fat that that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo mama is so fat that when she went to church and sat on a bible, Jesus came out and said "LET MY PEOPLE GO!"

Yo mama is so fat that when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yo mama is so fat that she stands in two time zones.

Yo mama is so fat that she went to the fair and the kids thought she was a bouncy castle.

Yo mama is so fat that when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo mama is so fat that when she went to seaworld the whales started singing "We Are Family".

Yo mama is so fat that she fell out of both sides of her bed.

Yo mama is so fat that the stripes on her pajamas never end.

Yo mama is so fat, Al Gore accuses her of global warning everytime she farts!

Yo mama is so fat that she's got every caterer in the city on speed dial!

Yo mama's so fat that when she goes on a scale, it shows her own phone number.

Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't need the internet - she's worldwide.

Yo mama's so fat that when she goes on a scale, it reads "lose some weight".

Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't get dreams, she gets movies!

Yo mama's so fat that when she walks, she changes the earth's rotation!

Yo mama is so fat that she uses the entire country of Mexico as her tanning bed.