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(Bob) Please, can someone help me?

I need to sneeze!

(Mr. Lunt) Wait for the sneeze doctor.

Just take a seat--he'll be right with you.

(Larry) Sneeze if you have to!

Sneeze if you need to!

Don't hold it in--Just be sure

that you cover your mouth with a tissue.

I shall assist you!

Sneeze all your troubles away

At up to 150 miles an hour!

(Mr. Lunt) Interesting fact--the average sneeze travels at a rate of 100 miles an hour. In 2003, Durk Evertt of Krummholz, Germany clocked in at 150. Way to go, Durk!

(Durk) Danke.

(Larry) I think I have a remedy

Perhaps in my potpourri.

I bought it from a merchant in Spain!

For ultimate sneeze satisfaction

Try allergic reaction

Take a deep breath

If it helps you can squint at the sun.

Or here's some pepper.

Let's see--I know! I can try this feather.

Don't be afraid

Set it free!

Let it go--go--go--go go go go!

(Mr. Lunt) Interesting fact--the photic sneeze reflex, or sneezing when exposed to bright light, is a genetic trait found in 25% of the population--including Durk.

(Durk) Aa-phtu!

(Bob) ah

Aaa

aaa

aaaaa

aaaaaa--

(Larry) Spain!!!

(Bob) Aa-choo! Ah.

(Mr. Lunt) Gesundheit. Which, interestingly, means "Good Health" in German.

(Durk) Ja!

(All) Sneeze if you have to!

Sneeze if you need to!

(They continue singing while Bob sneezes around the room--I don't know what they say)

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12y ago
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Anonymous

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3y ago
Thank you so much!! I really wanted to know what they say!!

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Q: What are the lyrics to Sneeze If You Need To?
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