Eph's Dream - 1913 was released on:
USA: 5 March 1913
Pronounced "Eefs," this title is short for Ephraim Williams, whose will and determination led to the founding of the college. Varsity teams at Williams are referred to as Ephs and on occasion men's teams are called Ephmen and women's teams are called Ephwomen.
Williams College has a mascot named "Ephilia", a purple and gold cow. the cow was most likely named the mascot in honor of a student-run humor newspaper, "The Purple Cow" (1905). The nickname, Ephs, comes from Ephraim Williams, whom the college (and town) are named for.
Williams College belongs to the NESCAC .... New England Small College Athletic Conference. The conference plays in the NCAA Division III. Amherst College Lord Jeffs - Amherst, Massachusetts Bates College Bobcats - Lewiston, Maine Bowdoin College Polar Bears - Brunswick, Maine Colby College White Mules - Waterville, Maine Connecticut College Camels - New London, Connecticut Hamilton College Continentals - Clinton, New York Middlebury College Panthers - Middlebury, Vermont Trinity College Bantams - Hartford, Connecticut Tufts University Jumbos - Medford, Massachusetts Wesleyan University Cardinals - Middletown, Connecticut Williams College Ephs - Williamstown, Massachusetts
I'm writing this to you in hopes that you can understand a little bit more of what goes on in my head, not just during times like these, but since November of 2011. It's important for you to understand that the following is the complete and honest truth, and the most direct ways I can phrase what I am trying to say.It was October 2011, but I remember it like it was yesterday. We were at a football game and I was standing on the ground, below the rest of the student section. I remember continuously glancing over my left shoulder to check you out while you danced and smiled with your friends about two rows above me. There was plenty of "fresh meat" not only around you but throughout the whole stadium. There were plenty of people to be looking at, yet I couldn't stop my eyes from going to you. At this specific moment in my life, I developed a crush on the girl who'd end up stealing my heart from me. At that moment in time, I was inspired to start a relationship with the most beautiful girl in Texas, not deserving anything. If it wasn't for the fact that you just so happened to glace back at me once or twice, I probably would have never stirred up the courage to message you.The days that followed were some of the greatest days of my life. I spent my time aimlessly flirting with you. I remember staring at texts from you, brainstorming the simplest replies. You and I used to run out of things to say to each other yet would never resort to fighting about whatever happened to be irritating us at the time. I remember the days when I would spend intervals of 20-30 minutes exploring your different photo albums on Facebook. I didn't see any less beauty in the red-cheeked 12 or 13 year old with braces than I do when I look at a recent picture of you today. You had never heard of or seen me, yet I had known about your life for years prior. As a young fighting frog, I would have never predicted that I would eventually feel empty inside as an 18 year old without your place in my life. This is much more than a case of "you don't know what you have until it's gone" rather a heart-breaking case of "you don't know how badly you need something until you've had it."I used to eat, smile, play, run, and sleep with no reliance on you or your texts. I went at least 7 or 8 years without knowing you were alive anywhere in the world and seemed to cope just fine. I didn't need any woman except for my mother to grow into the person I am today (good or bad). It wasn't until the fall of 2011 when my life changed and 1 more dependency entered my life. When you decided to be with me, I developed the strongest attachment I've ever shared with another human being. It wasn't because I fell in love with you too quickly, because it took the perfect amount of time for me to fall in love with you. It wasn't' because you were willing to be intimate quickly. It wasn't because we rushed things. It was because of the human being you are. You made me the happiest person I was capable of being and that is considering what an angry person I am.The beginning stages of our relationship were like the picture I told you about that said, "Nothing is sexier than someone who wants you as much as you want them". We wanted each other so badly. To put it in perspective, during that time in 2011, I had no intentions to ever date you. So many reasons prevented me from being able to ask you to be mine. The main reason was the fact that I never felt like I would be good enough for you, Macy Anderson. I had and had so many problems with the fact that you are Macy Anderson. Your brother is Campbell Anderson, an EPHS legend while the rest of your family is also highly-respected and loved in the community. Here I am, a pot-head, beer-drinker, mediocre grade making Junior trying to get a girl like you. I knew you were young and vulnerable enough to hook up with me and even have a "thing," but I never wanted you to be with me considering you were young and didn't know what you were doing. I didn't know how long we'd be stuck in a relationship with our personalities. I was right considering we have been dragging this complicated relationship with us for well over a year. However, it was the best decision I've ever made.The fact that you wanted me so bad satisfied that need for structure I've longed for since I was a child. I needed you in my life because your primary concern in life seemed to be making me happy. I grew attached to you. I needed you like a child needs his mother. I needed you like a human needs water. Whether you were working extremely hard for me or if it was just the way you were born, you were shaped and made for me.There are a lot of issues that changed the course of our relationship and I know they are not to be taken lightly or to be placed out of the picture but those aren't the things I want to talk about. You and I made mistakes over the relationship. The only difference is that I made about 500 more than you. Everybody makes mistakes and that is easy to understand, however what is even easier to understand after getting to know you is that 500 mistakes in a relationship with you is 500 more than you deserve. I called you horrible names and treated you horribly for certain actions yet completely deserved what you had done. I understand this. There is a simple explanation for why I was not smart enough to realize this in my enraged moments with you; anger-control problems. I lied to you through much of the relationship which makes me a hypocrite for the heat I've given you for lying. I admit it. I lied to you. I was talking to Naomi when I said I wasn't and I sent Claire a message much more recently than I said. I am sorry. Humans are humans though and we lie to protect ourselves and each other. Every time you lied to me, it was to prevent me from being hurt. Every time I lied to you, I was protecting you from being hurt.To stay on point, I don't regret lying to you. I regret every single thing I ever did that needed a lie to cover it up. I regret every time I made you feel like I cared for somebody else. I regret every time that I made you feel like you weren't the most special girl in my life. You could leave me forever as you plan on doing, and I'd be in pain but I could make It through knowing that you knew I loved you like I said I did. I would be alright if you knew that I was sorry for everything I did to hurt you. I would be okay if you knew I wasn't doing this in hopes that you'll come back to me. I do it so maybe you'll understand that I hurt inside because of the things I've done to you. After everything that has happened between us, there is not a part of me that feels any differently about you than I did when I fell in love with you. I understand that the feeling is not mutual and I understand I give you no right to feel the same way about me. Today, and the way it's been for a long time is you simply do not want me as badly as I want you and it's not your fault. I've made my bed and I am now lying in it. I know you feel the same way, Macy. I created this situation and I am dealing with it now, right?I am dealing with it. I am not going to lay here in this bed, alone and full of regret. I need to get out of bed and fix it for two.I am not trying to sound depressed or suicidal when I tell you that I see no point in life unless I am sharing it with you. I do not see a point in going to school, working or staying in decent shape unless it is for you. You are the only girl who can fulfill my wants. You are the only girl who can make me feel like I have done something right. It's more than an attraction to your physical appearance, but my soul actually needing to be partnered up with yours. I couldn't agree with you more when you tell me that you feel bad for the next girl who has to deal with what you dealt with. She will deal with so much more than flirting, comments or even pictures. She will have to deal with a man who is not happy with her. A man who is in love with the girl of his dreams whom he met in high school. Think about my wife if it isn't you? I pity her because she will soon catch on to the fact that she isn't who I want to be with. I do not feel like a man can love two women, even at separate times in life. I do not feel like a man can love another person after he has fallen in love. Yet, I am aware I have fallen for you.I do not want to be with anybody unless that girl is you.I can't convince you that I'd never hurt you again. I can't convince you that I'd never flirt with another girl. I can't even convince you that I'd never cheat on you. All I can do is promise you I'd never hurt you again. All I can do is promise I'd do things differently if I could. We'd fight, we'd be sad but we would be okay. I'd never cheat on you. I'd never leave you, okay? I'd never leave you for anything. If you lie, at least I'd get to have you. If you cheated once or twice, at least I'd have you. If you went to parties, at least I'd have you. That's all that matters, do you understand?These are the facts:(If it's not on here, doesn't mean it's a lie)(Swear on us that these are 100% truths)You were the first girl I fell "in love" with.I've never physically cheated on you.I do not have feelings for Alyssa.I made the comments on the "French twins" picture to get back at you.I talked to Naomi to get back at you.I ask people to watch you at parties.I cried when you went to George Strait.I've talked about my "girlfriend from El Paso" in front of Claire Lampe at lunch last semester.I've never been with a girl by ourselves while in a relationship with you(besides Bella, Hannah Cobb and Maria Palafox all for smoking)My mom knows I'm in love with you.My mom knows I am extremely bad to you.My mom thinks you deserve better.Any country song, any place makes me think of you.I used to shotgun/chug at parties to impress you.I'm proud of you.I'd flaunt you if you'd let me. (You think I wouldn't)I really do think your mom is hot.I'm in love with you.I love you so, so, so much.We should be together. There are so many reasons why we should not but the reasons that tell us we should are too important. You'll never find someone to be as obsessed with you as I am. You're never going to find someone who will be able to love you as much as I do. I want to be with you so bad, it hurts me. I hope you understand how I feel about you so at the end of the day, you can go to sleep knowing that I want you so bad. You have someone on planet earth who'd work, live and die for you when not many people do. I am that person. I was bad to you. I didn't treat you right. What I did wrong can be made up through the future. We could have a normal relationship if we both tried. We've had a break, so you should give me another chance. We've both given each other so many chances and I feel like you can spare one more.I love you, Caitlin Macy Anderson. I'll always be here for you.Reasons why I am in love with you:#1 - FrecklesThe way you sound when you wake up in the morning.The way you laugh.The color of your eyes.Your perfect cheeks.You're great teeth.The way your mouth tastes.The clothes you wear.Your butt.Your little hands.Your little toes.Your perfect complexion that goes with your hair.Your eyebrows.The way you smell.Your house and neighborhood.The car you drive.The fact that you're a Texas girl.Your voice.Your nose.Your choice in underwear.Your knowingness of what I want.Your skill in the bedroom.You are super smart.You have an amazing sense of humor.Your perfect body.You're so cuddle-able.You just want me to love you and treat you good.You want me to be proud of you.You want me to protect you.You are okay with staying in Texas.You love your family.You are Christian.You love America.You are hot.You know you look good.You are yourself to me.You are innocent.The most important reason as to why I love is you is the fact that I promised I would forever and that is a promise I won't break. Ever.I love you.