What can I do to get help for a 24 year old daughter who consistently lies?

Answer 1

You must figure out why they are lying and address the problem from the standpoint that the lying can stop. In other words, tell the daughter that she can stop lying in one simple step: STOP LYING!

Ask (demand) the daughter to try this experiment:

Every time she tells a lie (no matter the reason or "size" of the lie) she must immediately confess to the person to whom she lied that she has told them a lie. Now she must explain to the person with whom she lied (a) why she lied (b) apologize for the lie (c) tell that person the truth and (d) ask the person to forgive her for lying.

This approach has worked on countless people...once the liar gets into this habit she learns that telling the truth the first time is much more gratifying than lying and most importantly, she will sense that others are once again trusting her thus, providing her the ability to once again trust herself. Humility works wonders...

One important note: you must make the lying daughter accountable to you (or another trusted person). Accountability is one of the most important factors in any attempt for self-help and/or personal growth.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

It really depends on her age. If she is a minor then you can probably work with her in a counseling program. Compulsive lying is really a result of consequences she doesn't want to deal with. Working with her about telling the truth is the best way to go. If she lies about something you know she did then talk to her. (IE. She spilled milk and you know it was her. Reassure her that you love her and that telling you is the best way to handle it so you can clean it up.) Remember that getting angry and chastising her isn't going to help this problem, it will only make it worse.

If she is over 18 then she may find the natural consequences (losing friends or a job) of her lying more of a lesson then you could ever hope to teach.