What do you do if you are depressed because a married man with whom you have had a relationship will not leave?

Answer 1

This familiar situation is a sad, but often repeated one. You seem to be wise enough to realize that "nothing will change" and he will not leave his wife (and children, if any) to be with you. That kind of thing rarely happens. And it is a miserable and painful thing if it does. The time for depression is later. Not now, later. Something else must happen now. It's time to step clear of the situation and tell him to get lost. You have leverage in that you can tell his wife if he won't leave you alone. It would be better if you did't tell her (not that she won't eventually find out - if she doesn't already know), but you can usually get him to cease and desist with this threat. It should be used only in the most dire situation, and with all the force you can muster as it is a "method of last resort" that can only be played effectively once. Repeated threats won't generally work, and if you have to keep threatening and don't actually follow through, he will learn you won't do as you've said and will continue with you. Draw that line in the sand. Think of yourself without him. Visualize it. Want it. Want to be apart and have the situation behind you. And act on this. Commit yourself to it. Make it happen. It was wrong in so many ways, but you can feel bad later. Now is the time you need to focus on you and on moving on and away from him. Best of luck.