What does it mean and what is the behaviour of someone who is in self preservation after a breakup?
Each individual is different. No matter what the trauma, survival instincts click in to protect our thought patterns. It's a type of grieving and there are different stages of self preservation. No matter if the person is aggressive and loud by nature or quiet and introverted, each has a similar anger deep within them and, they may act out in different ways. The aggressive person (male) may get into fights, try drugs, drink more, or vanish for a while, while the female can, at times display physical aggressiveness by hitting, slapping, scratching, shouting, etc., and also, by using the opposite sex. Some women may even sleep around more not realizing they are actually trying to hurt the one person that hurt them, but in the process they are hurting the men they have chosen to have a quick relationship with. Males as well can flit around with many women without caring for their feelings, but not really aware of the reasons behind it all. The healthy way is to "go with the flow." First the tears, perhaps some depression or a feeling of "out of body" (not fitting into the environment around you), then anger and once the anger hits, then the healing starts. Many people can go through this process on their own, but, if they are depressed too long, blame themselves, turn to alcohol or drugs or act out by sleeping around and not caring about themselves (picking up diseases through sexual intercourse) or caring about those partners that are good to them, then it's time to seek out a good psychologist and learn coping tools. Sometimes, for some individuals coping methods are throwing themselves into their work, hobbies or general denial. Others may throw themselves into physical exercise (adrenalin rushes) and some may just become extremely introverted and shrink from society in general which leads to poor self esteem, a decline in work habits (whether school or working for an employer) and it just goes down-hill from there. There is no real wrong way to cope, but, if a particular individual realizes that they are depressed, can't sleep, are agitated, angry all the time and it's ruling their lives, then they must be mature enough to accept help through counseling. Sometimes it doesn't hurt any of us to get a "lube and oil" (as I call it) and find out if we are standing on solid ground no matter what the problem. Marcy
If you mean is it okay not to date anyone right after a breakup, of course that's fine. We all need some time after a breakup, especially if it was to someone we dated for a long time or loved very much. Is it okay not to see anyone, including your friends and family, after a break up? Probably not a good idea. You'll feel better if you're around people who care about you after…
"It's not you, it's me" is told to someone that you are ending a romantic relationship with, to tell them that the reason for the breakup is not something that they did wrong, it is a problem that you are having with the relationship. This is done so that the breakup does not appear to blame the other person, which would put them on the defensive and/or start an arguement.
What does it mean when a guy you tell a guy that you are in love with him and you tell him that he hurt you and he says I don't care wer'e not together anymore only a week after the breakup?
This behaviour is associated with Obsessive-Compulsive disorder and also with hoarding. Howard Hughes is famous for having done this toward the end of his life, and he was clearly suffering from OCD and a number of other mental health problems. Although the behaviour is harmless in itself, it is sufficiently unusual to warrant counselling.