How to become a little girl?
Step one - what you need:
Tools and Ingredients;
- a Grunjer (if you'd like to retain your memory and sense of
self)
- some flat-ended Flinkies
- two and a half men (women if you want to turn into a little
boy)
- a Jabberwocky
- pi Pies (two pi if you'd like to change your looks, too)
- a Snow Leopard and seven Windows
- a Hunting team, fully equipped
- something you got at the age you want to return to (if you
want to get to a very specific age)
- a green-colored (for females) or blue-colored (for males)
high-end radio wave, covered in bubblewrap
Places of work:
- a Snark-occupied place
- somewhere with less than 48.3592% of the Earth's gravity and
more than 0.7 atmospheres, consisted of pure oxygen.
- your best-friend-at-the-age-you-want-to-go-back-to's bedroom
(the end of prucedure shall be there, or else you might change your
race to any one, from Magrathian to a butterfly)
Step Two - Preperation
(should take place at a full blue moon)
- Send the hunting team to get you a Snark. If you don't you
might end up in an undesired age.
- Install the windows on the Snow Leopard
- Pickle the Grunjer
Step Three - Operation Check
- Make the pies absorb the men's souls, while retaining the
radio wave's color
- Implowcyde the Jabberwocky's tail into the Leopard's
Windows
- Make sure the tail is running smoothly and in co-ordination
with the pies' flounging
Step Four - Centrifuge
- Pull the Leoard to the low-gravity high-oxygen evironment,
without breathing it, or letting the Leopard breath it. the
Leopard's fur must be soaked in it for a day, then cleaned of slow
and ice, then soaked for another week. Meanwhile, do the
following:
- Stop the Jabbberwocky tail, feed the still-flounging pies to
it, and hit it repeatedly with the radio wave
- Defend yourself from a maniac attacking you with a Banana
(preferably after re-enacting 'Four Yorkshiremen')
- Feed the Flinkies to the pickled Grunjer
- After you've done all of this, rotate the Leopard wildly over
your head for another two days. This shall extract the remainders
of cookies from it's and the Windows' browsers. Get rid of
those.
Step Five - Final Things to do
- Sacrifice the Snark to the moon god
- Spread the Grounjer over the Leopard equally
- Close the Windows and kill the Snow Leopard
- Wear the Leopard skin for three four nights and days, while
feasting and fasting alternately, statrting with fasting and ending
at evening
(note: by now, new moon should have started)
Step Six - Ritual
- At new moon night, get into your said friend's betroom, and do
a stereotypical rain dance, wearing the Snow Leopard's skin and
fur, with said childhood thing in your one hand
If this does not work, consult me directly
Have fun!