What is a cladge?

Answer 1

There may be many variations as answers for this question.

1. Derrived from the term 'claggical world' meaning anything you want it to, for example, as a joke:

''You're such a b***** useless cladge''

an insult:

''For f*** sake you f****** f***** up cladge''

a tag:

''I'll cladge that''

or a compliment on someone's behaviour, clothing, personal hygiene or appearance:

'' I love that new hair of yours Johnny boy, it's SO cladge''

2. Female gym goers ''Hey guys, look at that cladge over there; I would''

3. A monumental effort ''UGHHHHH, I can't keep this cladge up'' (though this could have a few sexual connotations if you're not careful)

4. A common saying around S.America or any other place inhabited by dark-skinned persons:

'' S*** dude, th't were cladging close'' (note: used here as an adverb)

'' I'm gonna bust do'n de cladge and b'y maself some grass, want some?''

(consumption of drugs is not advised, this was only used as an example to fit the circumstances. Please see ''How have i f***** up my life so badly'' or '' Why can't i get any friends'' for answers to addiction).

5. Lastly can be used as a shortening of the term ''classic madge'' used in the following:

- A poor joke that nobody finds funny apart from yourself who are rolling on the floor in a fit of giggles (at your OWN JOKE).

- A derranged sixth form student who finds it funny to dance at random music during break time, performing the most awful moves and scaring small children (this is especially achieved through the 'boxed-in robot', where there is no chance of escape). Particularly effective in the presence of a 'flock of chavs', where one can swear blindly at them, insulting family members and other use of general abuse. 'Cos every one else hates them, there is nothing they can do (however, one has to keep a low profile for the next few days to avoid knifing or passive kidnap).

- A comment, that out-smarts a Biology teacher with the use of chemical terms, like ''would that be an instantaneous dipole?'' shortly followed by the phrase ''will this be on handouts'', whilst showing considerable concern that you're learning could be obstructed if it is not. Of course, the biology teacher will have no option but to abide by your request, no matter how many times you ask over the course of a school year.

- A maths lesson, when your main rival has answered a question correctly and you opt for an answer that is different, out of spite and disgust. This is then followed by an incorrect and improvised explanation, that's serves no purpose but to waste time.

- The bringing to school of a leather briefcase, or wheely suitcase equipped with all necessary stationary, books and lunch. With this look, the academically weakened will find it impossible to resist a chase of yourself, so come prepared with a stout stick, net (both of which could be used during a species analysis for a particular habitat) or alternatively, a mix of smart responses that will provoke a ''rage''. Be expecting not to return to class within the hour. This will provide others with an irresistably hilarious topic that can be referred to for some time to come. However, it is also advised that if you plan to carry this out, you should be prepared for a viscious pen attack that may result from your actions on your return (the above is most likely to happen in a biology lesson)