What is a rebound relationship?

Rebound Relationships

A "rebound relationship" is one in which a person becomes overly quick to commit to a new partner after having experienced an upsetting breakup or divorce. People who have breakups and then immediatley involved themselves with someone else seem to feel the need to prove to themselves they are worthy of love and affection. They may miss the comfort and affection of a regular relationship. But whatever the reason is, it is a selfish reason, one that is based on serving the self esteem and satisfying feeling of personal worth. "Someone loves me and needs me." It can also be to affirm "I wasn't at fault in the breakup, this relationship will prove that." Most of these rebound relationships are not permanent, and they can be even more destructive than the earlier breakup.

Here is some more advice:

  • Definitely, in my experience a rebound is getting involved before resolving the effects of a break-up. A rebound puts a band aid on the misery and then shoves it away since there is now someone to love and be loved by.
  • I think the wisest course of action for the newly separated or divorced is just to be alone for a while, as long as it takes, until we've gotten rid of our ex-partners from our hearts, completely, and know who we really are. You need to make slow progress towards wholeness, not hiding from the pain when it comes.
  • I met a man who wanted to use me as his rebound. He was very anxious to see me again after we first met, and I didn't know about his situation at first. One strange thing was that he wasn't very interested in sex. Instead he wanted to hold me all the time, like he was missing closeness. I had a strange fake feeling when he held me so tight. I was doubting if it was really me he was holding. I wished I could help him, but I decided to go with my instinct and end it.
  • A rebound relationship is when the man or women is still suffering pain from an ex and decides to get involved right away to someone new so that they can distract themselves from their pain. It is counterproductive because a new partner won't take away that pain, they can only soothe the pain until he or she completely heals. When they do heal, they will no longer need or appreciate the reboundee's comfort.
  • Be very careful about dating divorced men and make sure you are not one of the first relationships they have after the divorce. Spare yourself the pain.
  • Be cautious when you know someone recently got out of a relationship. Don't let your guard down and take things extremely slow. And for those who have recently been through a gut-wrenching breakup, always remember that no matter how miserable you may feel life goes on and there are a lot of people out there ready to make you happy.
  • A rebound is kinda like picking up the pieces after someone gets their heart broken. You have to comfort the person until they start to like you for you.
  • A rebounder will not necessarily know they're using you. As the rebound person, you need to be the stronger person. Be in control of the situation, and be straightforward and honest with your rebounder. Most importantly, if you want it to succeed, never pressure that person. Show them how strong you are and how serious you are about not wanting to be a rebound. If they see it from your perspective (and not their own), they may end up thinking twice before hurting you. Oh yes, one last thing: keep in mind that if you have been dumped as a rebound, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. The rebounder is the one who has the issues.