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Boundaries are based on identities, not the other way around. Two people have two identities and as they form a relationship, they form boundaries to guide how their two identities relate to each other. If the boundaries are imposed upon the two people, it's like being forced to wear clothes that don't fit but if the two people are allowed to form their own boundaries with each other, then the fit is very comfortable.

Boundaries prevent codependency, enmeshment and other unhealthy relationships by allowing the two identities to connect comfortably.

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