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The tone of the sentence, How did you not know that, is meant (and heard) as demeaning and belittling. Even inserting may into a sentence, such as "You may not have known this, but (with explanation)" is better than the first way. Using "may not have known" gives more respect for what the person does know.

Example:

You may not have known that you have to attach the cords in a particular order for the printer to work.

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