What role does fear play in abusive relationships?

Answer 1

• The abuser of the victim will first alienate the victim from their family and friends and can even move to another town in some cases. An abuser is sly as a fox and at first often can win over not only the victim with kindness and generosity, but also win over family and friends. However, there are many cases where family and friends can often see right through the abuser even before he segregates his victim. Once the two are alone the changes can come quickly such as verbal abuse (the abuser is inwardly unhappy about their own failures in life and will transfer this onto the victim) and then the physical abuse often comes next. Sometimes the abuser will never apologize to his victim, but many do and continue to promise that they will never do it again, but they do. The abuser is aware they have total control over their victim and if the victim shows any sign of independence or that they are going to leave the relationship this is when the real fear starts because the abuser will instill the fear of either killing their victim; their family or, if there are children the abuser may threaten to harm the children or have the victim believe she will never get her children as she is an unfit mother. The victim is basically brainwashed; lost all confidence in themselves; has been alienated from her family and friends and has nowhere to turn. The fear is real and the threats from the abuser are often real as well.