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Marriage and Relationship Counseling

What should you do if you and your husband are going to marriage counseling and he told the counselor he wasn't cheating on you but this morning you found a pair of panties in his drawer?


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Wiki User
April 14, 2017 3:45AM

Have a one on one conversation with the Counselor, and tell them of the evidence and your suspicions.

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Wiki User
December 14, 2015 5:34PM

Having a pair of women's underwear in his drawer is not necessarily a sign of cheating.

  • They could be yours. Maybe you or him put them in the wrong drawer when either were doing the laundry. I can't even remember every single pair of individual underwear I have.

  • He could be a secret crossdresser. This is not a sexual fetish (most of the time). It is about feeling comfortable in your own body. Instead of jumping straight to the cheating accusation, ask him calmly about them in a seemingly normal conversation. If he is a crossdresser, seek to understand crossdressing - it is not the same as transsexualism and is rarely about sex at all, it is about comfort.

  • He could have a fetish with underwear, but he doesn't want to use yours to carry out his fetish because he might be embarrassed. He could have bought them himself to enable him to carry out an underwear-related fetish.

Don't jump to conclusions with no evidence. And you won't get any evidence by being too upfront and misunderstanding about the other possible explanations.