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What should you do if you and your husband are going to marriage counseling and he told the counselor he wasn't cheating on you but this morning you found a pair of panties in his drawer?
Wiki User
Answered 2015-12-14 17:34:02
Having a pair of women's underwear in his drawer is not necessarily a sign of cheating.
- They could be yours. Maybe you or him put them in the wrong drawer when either were doing the laundry. I can't even remember every single pair of individual underwear I have.
- He could be a secret crossdresser. This is not a sexual fetish (most of the time). It is about feeling comfortable in your own body. Instead of jumping straight to the cheating accusation, ask him calmly about them in a seemingly normal conversation. If he is a crossdresser, seek to understand crossdressing - it is not the same as transsexualism and is rarely about sex at all, it is about comfort.
- He could have a fetish with underwear, but he doesn't want to use yours to carry out his fetish because he might be embarrassed. He could have bought them himself to enable him to carry out an underwear-related fetish.
Don't jump to conclusions with no evidence. And you won't get any evidence by being too upfront and misunderstanding about the other possible explanations.
Wiki User
Answered 2017-04-14 03:45:55
Have a one on one conversation with the Counselor, and tell them of the evidence and your suspicions.
Your Answer
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Related Questions
Can you ever trust your unfaithful husband after his affair?
Trust is earned and your husband broke that bond of trust so he is going to have to earn it back. Both of you should seek marriage counseling to get to the root of why your husband thought he should cheat and the counselor can give tools for the couple to work with and strengthen their marriage. A marriage counselor is not there to blame either party, but to get you both to see the weak spots in your marriage and work on them. No, you will probably not trust your husband for cheating for awhile because trust is earned.
Do wives and husbands need to both attend marriage counseling?
For it to be considered marriage counseling, both parties need to attend. You can always get individual counseling, if your husband does not want to go.
What do you do when your husband says your marriage is not a priority?
Get a lawyer or go to family counseling.
Is it cheating when your husband meets with a married woman to talk about his marriage and find out later she is attracted to him?
that just means that the lady is cheating on her husband to be with your husband
How do you know if the man you are cheating on your husband with loves you?
Unfortunately, you will never be sure because you know cheating is wrong. Often either a female or male partner that knows that person is cheating on their spouse (even if that person is cheating on their spouse as well) will think 'if she/he cheats on her husband then she would cheat on me.' There are many men out there that take advantage of women who are lonely; feel unloved or unappreciated by their husbands. You need to mature and try and make your marriage work by seeking marriage counseling and if you do not love your husband enough to do this or at least try in your marriage you should have the courage to tell your husband you no longer love him and start divorce proceedings.
How do you react if husband caught you cheating?
You have no right or reason to react; if anyone should be reacting, it should be home. You should see a couples counselor & talk to one another to figure out if the marriage can be saved.
How to Get the Most Out of Marriage Counseling?
Marriage Counseling is a form of psychotherapy that can help improve or save a couple’s relationship. Marital counseling sessions are typically held on a weekly basis in an outpatient setting. Providers of marital counseling include licensed psychologists, licensed clinical social workers (LCSWs), and clinicians who specialize in marriage and family therapy. Couples can get the most out of marriage counseling if they follow some important steps during the therapeutic process. Specifically, they should take time to choose a trained counselor and should make a commitment to actively participate in attend all scheduled sessions. The first and most important step is to conduct some research prior to enlisting the help of a marriage counselor. There is a plethora of marriage counselors from which to choose, and couples should select an experienced, properly trained therapist. Couples should choose a counselor who has completed an accredited program in counseling or psychotherapy, and who has several years of experience in the field of marriage counseling. It is a good idea to select a counselor who is licensed to practice psychotherapy or marriage and family therapy. Examples of licensed professionals include LSCWs, licensed psychologists, or therapists who have been credentialed by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). Once you have selected a marriage counselor and have scheduled your first session, the next important step is to make a commitment to attend scheduled sessions without fail on a regular basis. Marriage counseling is more successful when couples have continuity of care and progress can be regularly monitored. If an emergency arises and a session must be canceled, couples should give their marriage counselor as much notice as possible and reschedule the session for the next available date. A final step to undertake when engaging in marriage counseling is to be open and honest during treatment sessions. The marriage counseling process will not be effective if a husband and wife keep secrets from one another or display an unwillingness to discuss pertinent issues during the counseling session. Open communication is a key component of the counseling process and will provide the marriage counselor with valuable tools and information required to help a couple improve their relationship.
Should cheating husbands be forgiven?
Humans simply are not perfect and if it is the first time the husband has cheated and he is remorseful then yes, he should be forgiven, but marriage counseling is a must along with the husband having to earn that bond of trust back with his spouse. If the husband is a continuous cheater then no, he should not be forgiven.
Should I cheat also if I find my husband is cheating?
No. You should either see a marriage counselor to fix your relationship or file for a divorce, but do not cheat in retaliation. It is a childish idea and will only create more issues.
What would you do if you caught your husband cheating?
Life can be complicated and no human is perfect. Some people make a mistake once such as cheating. If your husband has not cheated before then both of you should seek marriage counseling and try to keep the marriage together especially if you have children. If he has cheated more than once then you should separate for several months so each of you can think through the problems in your marriage. If you cannot afford marriage counseling (some men refuse to go) then at least sit down calmly together in private and ask him why he felt he needed to cheat and, if possible both of you work together to make your marriage stronger. Marriage and getting older are not for sissies.
Would you divorce your husband if this was his first time cheating on you and told you he did it 3 or 4 times?
Yes. Unless he is really committed and really wants to get help for his cheating, like through marriage counseling, then you should stay. But otherwise divorce him. Cuz he will still continue to cheat.
How can you believe your husband when he says his affair is over?
If cheating is a crime in marriage, why cant we make it a punishable crime in society? Ok, enough about my personal hangups. Trust and Honor. Hmmm a part of the marriage vows you both most likely said the day the two of you were married, and I believe should be in the back of our minds when we tell someone 'I love you'. No quick response or easy feel good wording will provide you with the golen answer you wish to hear. I don't preach counseling, but I am going to pull that card now due to the severity of the question. To save this marriage and to start rebuilding trust in the relationship, the TWO of you should seek marriage counseling. I would bet your husband pleads to you his affair is over. If you give your marriage a 'Mulligan' what is stopping him from thinking 'Hey, that was easy.... I need to make a call on my cell from outside' Getting my point? You are setting yourself up for another emotional breakdown. Marriage counseling with a board certified counselor will start both of you on the right path to trust and honor each other. If your husband feels a counselor is a waste and not worth the money, then ask him if he thinks your relationship is worth it - I wish you and your husband good luck and remember; You only get out of a relationship what you put into it.
If a woman sleeps with a woman is she cheating on her husband?
"Cheating" in a marriage is the informal term for being unfaithful to your marriage vows. Having extra marital sex is an act of being unfaithful.
Your husband is bipolar Can he stop cheating?
With the right combination of counseling and meds, yes. But it won't be quick,pretty,or easy.
How do you guard yourself from cheating husband?
When two people marry they took a vow to remain together throughout their lives and to respect and honor each other. Since your husband is cheating there is no need to guard yourself, but you have the control over what you want your life to be. If your husband does not know you know he is cheating then be sure he is and then tell him to his face. Ask him if he wants to remain married and if he does then he has to agree to go to marriage counseling or you are filing for divorce. If he wants to continue to cheat then file for divorce as soon as you can.
What if your baptist husband is trying to kill your Catholic spirit?
From the Catholic perspective, spouses generally receive some pre-marital counseling by a priest and should have been advised to be respectful of one another's beliefs. Most Catholic priests would advise marriage counseling (either with the priest or another counselor).
What to do if your husband cheats and give you an STD?
You should see a doctor before you see a marriage counselor or an attorney.
How do you show your husband that his affair is unjustifiable and you will not share your man will he keep cheating with this woman does he love her?
You can never be sure that your husband will never cheat again. If he has been a solid type of man in the past then he may have made a mistake which humans tend to do. Both of you need to seek marriage counseling to get to the root of the problem and to learn tools to deal with any problems in your marriage.
What should you do if your husband of 15 years had an affair and says he loves you but is not in love with you but wants to work things out because you have three kids yet he doesn't try?
If he is willing to work things out he should be happy to go to marriage counseling. Find a licensed marriage counselor, it will be a good place to start. Good luck.
Could you really trust your spouse to change if the affair he had would be his last?
When a spouse breaks that bond of trust it will take several months to possibly a year or more (of good behavior) for that cheating husband to earn the trust back from their spouse. The victim of a cheating spouse should never make it easy for the cheater to come back into their lives and continue on as if nothing has happened, but, they should not harp at the cheating spouse or the relationship would wither away. To err is human and sometimes either men or women make a mistake and cheat, but some never cheat again while others may find themselves cheating over and over again. This is why it is important for the victim of cheating to tell their spouse they will only take them back if they agree to go to marriage counseling where the marriage counselor can give them the tools to correct the weak areas in the marriage. If the cheating spouse refuses, then it is better to walk away from the marriage.
Who is the abuser in your marriage if you have been married for 19 years and you once slapped your husband in the face when he called you a slut?
Both of you are abusive to each other. You need counseling. Family counseling and anger management counseling.
What would be a really offensive quote to tell a husband that is cheating on his wife?
Getting offensive towards a cheating husband does not resolve the problem. If it is the wife that has caught him cheating then she can give him two choices .. seek marriage counseling and stop seeing whomever he is seeing or she will file for divorce. If it's a relative or a friend then they should talk to the husband and tell him that he has a week to come clean with his wife or you will say something, but it would be wise to also let him know others know about his cheating just in case he may seek revenge of his own to keep that person quiet.
How many more chances can a wife give her husband if this is his second time he has been caught cheating?
The first time he cheated you should have taken this opportunity to seek marriage counseling and if he refused to go then you should have separated from him until he either got his act together or you came to the conclusion he will never change his cheating ways. You are enabling his behavior and he's cheated a second time. You need to take control of the situation and tell him he either goes to marriage counseling with you or he can pack his bags and get out and you will file for divorce.
Should you get marriage counseling before getting married?
I would suggest that you go for a marriage counseling before you get married. It really helps when you apply what you learn... Well if you ever needed to have a counseling for your marriage at any point maybe your boyfriend or husband isn't the one for you! No offence because this is coming from a young age I told my mother the same thing!
What do I do if my Husband is abusive towards me and expects me to just do what he says while he does the opposite.?
You should try marriage counseling. It helped me a lot.
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