Whose fault is the death of a daughter and murder of a husband--what do you do with all the abused kids you raised and the anger of biological kids?

Answer 1

When something so tragic and horrific happens, blame just makes things worse. Anger doesn't hurt other people, it hurts you. The only productive thing that can be done is to start living again... not dwelling on the past, not wondering what you could have done better, not defending yourself to others... just living. Doing the best you can NOW, in the present. Anger from others is understandable, and perhaps unavoidable.... but it is also pointless. The past is over. All you, or anyone else, can do is live now, being as kind as possible, and as caring as possible to those left behind, who have to work through their hurt and their anger in their own way. You are still alive, and you have a chance to change things for the better, to find productive things to do, and eventually to find things to laugh at again. That matters. Life matters... and setting a good example of how to keep living and overcoming the past is maybe the best thing that you can do for all of your kids... biological or not. No matter what happens to us, no matter how horrific or painful, we go on, and we become the best people we can be despite the past... and through the pain.