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Why did your borderline ex shut you out after being friends for several months after the breakup?
Wiki User
∙ 7y ago
Borderlines have a limited capacity to deal with the 'grey' areas of emotion. Known as a 'intimacy personality disorder', those with this diagnosis (and it is a bona fide DSM-IV mental healthy diagnosis) have difficulty maintaining healthy interpersonal relationships and repeat toxic behaviors over and over again in their adult amorous relationships.
One only need be in a close familial or romantic relationship with a person having this disorder to see the characteristics of it manifest clearly.
To answer the question though a Borderline sees emotional relationships in either black or white terns or what is known as 'splitting'. Love/Hate. Good/Bad. No in between. Much of this stems from childhood trauma and other factors to which scientists are still debating, but portions of their emotional maturity ceased progression at a very young age. They deal with 'adult' emotional issues in the same way a child might. Yes, weird because in every other facet of their life it often appears that they have 'adapted' to overcome the disorder.
One cannot help feel being emotionally 'lied to' and yes, that kind of anger subsides slowly, but I truly believe that borderlines do not intend to hurt others, they just don't know any other way to deal with things.
My heart goes out to both the Borderline and those who must suffer in relationships with them. Once a person realizes they are in a Borderline relationship -that what they were dealing with- a truly disordered person, emotionally incapable of giving to a healthy, loving relationship in the way that most emotionally 'healthy' adults can, the relationship begins to fall apart for the non will try to force the person with BPD take take responsibility or own up to something that the BPD person hasn't the skills to deal with. Some can, most can't or won't and bringing it up to them only induces more 'core shame' in which the borderline further alienates and shuts the non out in order to save face.
After several relationships after a relationship with a Borderline, a person can more clearly see just what it was they were experiencing.
Wiki User
∙ 7y ago
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If it was a hard breakup, I will give him three months. An easy breakup a week.
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start dating someone he knows well
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yuppers, she talked about this morning. apparently they have been on the outs for 3 months.
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It stays not started for several months.
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Mr. Holgrave had spent several months in a community of Fourierists.
How do you become friends with an ex after a really bad breakup and after four months of no talking?
This new fad of ex boyfriends and ex girlfriend being friends is a fallacy in itself and 'ex' means the relationship is over and both parties should move forward in their own lives and stop trying to be friends. You said that you broke up badly with no talking and that is the way he obviously wants to keep it. It is time for you to walk away from your ex.
Where did Mr Holgrave say that he had spent several months?
Mr. Holgrave said that he had spent several months in a community of Reformed Quakers.
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I think that you shouldnt worry about when your marrige was. Four months is waaay long enough until you start a new relation ship!
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How do you play hard to get with a man that lives 4 hours away and has only talked on the phone for several months?
Don't answer the phone all the time, and tell him your busy and going out with friends on the weekends.
Where did Mr Holograve say that he spent several months?
Mr. Holograve said that he spent several months in Barcelona during his travels.
