Why do narcissists try and hurt you when they know it's over?

Answer 1

== == == == == == == == The 'narcissist' may have been emotionally attached to you, and, seeing he could no longer be with you, lashed out to spite in retaliation for your leaving. The fact that he did not physically hurt you, did not restrain you, and apparently caused no further emotional duress lends to the belief that he was very hurt to know the relationship between you two was over, but he is not necessarily narcissistic.

Considering the complexity of your relationship, you, him, and the particular realization that 'it was over' there could have been many reasons for his behavior, but they all likely boil down to retaliation for causing his grievance.

These things happen, and you do not need to carry blame for a natural separation. Neither need carry shame, guilt, or animosity toward the other. Life for both of you should move on with a mutual respect for each other.

My ex did stuff like that. He feels he has lost all control. Inside his sick mind and soul he feels this is the ultimate humiliation. He wants you to feel just as powerless as him. By dumping out your purse, he gets to express his rage at this so called injustice and he is trying to show how little you matter to him. He is twisted and sounds as scary as my ex. I would stay away and never go anywhere with him no matter what. No contact is best. He will never turn around and make a recovery to becoming a good person. He is pissed right off it seems and the only thing you can do is stay away. My ex was such a twit when we broke up that he stole a chair that was useless out my yard. He even stole my front door mat! He would show up everyday and look in my windows. Then he would yell horrible lies about me so the neighbours could hear. I think he went nuts the more he realised he had no control. Good God. NEVER get into a car with one of these people behind the wheel. It is so dangerous. They are terrible drivers; they will practically drive onto other people's lawns, having no concept of boundaries or other people's property. Mine used to scream "GET OFF MY ROAD!" at the top of his lungs at other drivers. No contact, and just promise me you'll take the bus next time.