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because that's the way they keep you hooked. they thrive on that drama and bull. happy doesn't last long because they always do something to break it. then you are spending all your time working to get it back and please them more. low level abuse type profane language words are the ideal catalyst for abusers,they hurt way deep, yea, that's the way they keep you engaged.try to make an unemotional civil conversation or throw them off with humor or misdirection, you cant avoid their bad karma no matter how hard you try.yes,'unleash grievances a dangerous game,derogatory dialogs, name calling, bringing up past issues only adds fuel to the fire.what happens?you wont like the result i assure you.a relationship wont work,why?because they don't want it to work.co-exist is beyond their comprehension.there must be respect for a sincere friendship to exist.if someone you're with truly works at breaking it when you're happy my advice is START STEPPIN.

AnswerSome abusers are envious of happy people and hate them for being content. But most abusers use this technique (of spoiling other people's happiness) to fend off imminent and threatening intimacy and emotional bonding. AnswerMuch of the abusers power comes from the conscious manipulation and control of the people around them. They also do 'what they know'. they could have seen their abusive parents act in this way so they do it. Abuse is a negative response to life. It is not comfortable to have happy and joyous people around-then who is in control! This is why Christmas and holidays are so difficult around abusive people. I had an aunt who used to refer to holidays jokingly as the devil's workshop.
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