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If your child is a pre-teen or teenager, he or she might be trying to become more independent from you through a poor choice of "separating" you from being "mom". The task of becoming independent and separating from parents is a normal milestone, but often kids don't know to do it. Most kids don't even recognize that this emotional need is going on.

If your child is younger than pre-teen years, it may be they have a friend who calls his mother by a first name or made up name. At that age, the child may think it is cool or more grown-up.

However, whether a grade school or high school age child, it is up to you to establish boundaries and rules. If the made up name or even using your real first name seems inappropriate (as most parents also think), you need to set the rule about what your child should call you, i.e. Mom, Mother, Mum. If the made up name is intended to be "funny", you can explain to your child that making up names to call a person can be hurtful and disrespectful. Using one's "title" (Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, etc.) denotes respect for the role the adult has in the child's life.

As much as parents tire of hearing kids start sentences with Mom? or Dad?, it is certainly harder when a child tries to take that "title" away by using a different name for his/her mom or dad. Think about what rules you want your child to follow, and tell the child why Mom (or Dad) is the appropriate "title". Children don't have to like our rules, and regardless of how kids feel about the rules, parents still need to make rules and boundaries clear.

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14y ago

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