Why do Jewish people place stones on a gravestone?

Answer 1

It is Jewish custom, to place a pebble or small stone on a grave when one visits a cemetery. This is intended to convey a three-fold message. "You are not forgotten." "See-I have been here." "I have added to your monument."

This is not as much a religious thing as a custom or tradition. It is probably still done as the use of cut flowers is considered improper in the entire Jewish burial practice. (So, don't send or bring them on bereavement calls...a gift of -Kosher- food when making a "shiva" call is best).

The act of putting a stone on a grave refers back to when we as a people 'rose' up from the dirt of the earth. We started in the earth and end in the earth, and the stone represents that thought.

Another answer

1. The Midrash relates that each of Jacob's sons took a stone and put it on Rachel's grave to make up Rachel's tomb. From this we learn that by placing stones on the grave one participates in building up the tombstone. In those days one did not mark a grave with marble or granite and a fancy inscription, but one made a cairn of stones over it. Each mourner coming and adding a stone was effectively taking part in the Mitzvah of matzevah ("setting a marker") as well as a symbolic levayat ha-meyt ("accompanying the dead"). Our present practice seems to be commemorative of this ancient tradition.

2. The book Ta'amey Ha-Minhagim (pp. 470-471) says, "We put pebbles on the grave to show that the visitor was at the grave. It was a sort of calling-card for the honor of the deceased, to mark that you have paid a visit." (See also Orach Haim 224:8). A contemporary respondent, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, confirms this custom, noting Eliyahu Rabba 224 as his source.

Answer 2

Typically, even when visiting Jewish graves of someone that the visitor never knew, he or she would leave a small stone at the graveside. This shows that someone had visited, and represents permanence. Leaving flowers is not a traditional Jewish practice. Another reason for leaving stones is tending the grave. In Biblical times, gravestones were not used; graves were marked with mounds of stones, so by placing (or replacing) them, one perpetuated the existence of the site

Answer 3

Stones serve as a physical indicator that someone came to visit the grave.

Answer:On many Jewish gravestones you'll find the Hebrew abbreviation תנצב"ה which means "May his soul be bound up in the bonds of eternal life."

Yet "bond" (tsror) in Hebrew also means a pebble. And one of the names of God is Tzur (Deuteronomy ch.32), which also can mean a rock. When we place stones on the grave and inscribe תנצב"ה on the headstone, we are asking God to keep the departed's soul in His presence. Among all the souls whom God watches over, we wish to ensure that the name--the "pebble"--of the soul of our departed is also there.

There is something suiting the antiquity and solidity of Judaism in the symbol of a stone. In moments when we are faced with the fragility of life, Judaism reminds us that there is permanence amidst the pain. While other things fade, stones and souls endure. And God is always there.

Answer 4

Based on a verse in Samuel, we pray of the deceased that "their soul should be bound up in the bundle of life." The Hebrew word which we translate here "in the bundle" (biTsror) also means "a stone." And it is grammatically related to the name of God used in Deuteronomy ch.32, "Tsur", The Rock. The Torah uses that description for God to signify His steadfastness. So the placing of a stone for the dead shows our hope and prayer that he/she should be steadfastly bound with God.

Answer 5

1. The Midrash Lekach Tov (Pesikta Zutra 35:20) relates that each of Jacob's sons took a stone and put it on Rachel's grave to make up Rachel's tomb. From this we learn that by placing stones on the grave one participates in building up the tombstone. In those days one did not mark a grave with marble or granite and a fancy inscription, but one made a cairn of stones over it. Each mourner coming and adding a stone was effectively taking part in the Mitzvah of matzevah ("setting a marker") as well as a symbolic levayat ha-meyt ("accompanying the dead"). Our present practice seems to be commemorative of this ancient tradition.

2. The book Ta'amey Ha-Minhagim (The Reasons for the Customs, pp. 470-471) says, "We put pebbles on the grave to show that the visitor was at the grave. It was a sort of calling-card for the honor of the deceased, to mark that you have paid a visit." (See also Orach Haim 224:8).

A contemporary respondent, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, confirms this custom, noting Eliyahu Rabba 224:7 as his source (Responsa Yabia Omer IV, Yoreh Deah 35).

See also:

Jewish laws of burial and mourning

Answer 6

1. The Midrash Lekach Tov (Pesikta Zutra 35:20) relates that each of Jacob's sons took a stone and put it on Rachel's grave to make up Rachel's tomb. From this we learn that by placing stones on the grave one participates in building up the tombstone. In those days one did not mark a grave with marble or granite and a fancy inscription, but one made a cairn of stones over it. Each mourner coming and adding a stone was effectively taking part in the Mitzvah of matzevah ("setting a marker") as well as a symbolic levayat ha-meyt ("accompanying the dead"). Our present practice seems to be commemorative of this ancient tradition.

2. The book Ta'amey Ha-Minhagim (The Reasons for the Customs, pp. 470-471) says, "We put pebbles on the grave to show that the visitor was at the grave. It was a sort of calling-card for the honor of the deceased, to mark that you have paid a visit." (See also Orach Haim 224:8).

A contemporary respondent, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, confirms this custom, noting Eliyahu Rabba 224:7 as his source (Responsa Yabia Omer IV, Yoreh Deah 35).

See also the Related Link.

Jewish laws of burial and mourning

Answer 7

It is an old tradition. We are told that if we leave stones on the grave, the deceased soul will know that we were there to visit them, and that they are still on our minds.

Answer 8

Because thereby we continue to "build" the monument to the deceased . . .