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It's not easy to find the words to say when someone you know loses a loved one. Here are some tips for making the conversation easier and much more meaningful.
When someone you know has lost a loved one, it's very difficult to know what to say. You can stammer and stumble around with the best of intentions. Others will avoid the person altogether because of loss of words. There are a few encouraging things to say to help someone understand that you are truly sorry for the loss being experienced, and words you should probably try very hard to avoid.
Encouraging Words of CondolenceThe loss of a loved one is one of the most difficult times in our lives. Hopefully, we turn to our families and friends during this time for support and sympathy. If you want to offer your sympathy, don't be afraid to do so. Even if you don't know the person very well, a few words can mean a lot."I'm sorry for your loss" is one of the most commonly used phrases. It conveys your feelings, without being overly sentimental. Many people find this is the easiest thing to say to someone who is dealing with the loss of a loved one. Simple put, you are offering your sympathy while acknowledging the grief that he is feeling.
"Is there anything you need?" is a sentiment that is greatly appreciated by people. While an individual may not need anything from you, it truly is the thought that counts. Be prepared, however, because he may actually need your help, and you may have to give it. Don't say this without a sincere intention to act.
Saying, "What can I do," is similar to the question above, but it conveys your willingness to offer support in any capacity. Many people find that just knowing someone is available will offer support and understanding. And, if you are asked to do something as small as clean up after the reception, how good will you feel knowing you helped someone that needed it the most?
"If you need to talk, call me" is an open door invitation to allow someone to unload the feelings off on you. Be sure you are able to listen, if he calls or stops by. Many times a grieving person will not be able to talk about the pain for several days or even weeks. It's nice for him to know you are available when the time comes. This should be offered to people you feel close to, such as family, friends, or coworkers to make this conversation flow and not feel awkward.
Words to Avoid in Times of SympathyThe one thing not to say is "I know how you feel." People do not want to hear this. This person is dealing with a loss in the only way he can, and you truly will not know what he feels. He may be going through the most difficult period in his life, or it may not be affecting him as mainstream society thinks it should. People will cope in different ways, but that does not necessarily mean it's wrong.Another phrase to avoid saying is "She is in a better place." No matter what type of life the deceased person had before her passing, it is still the living that must continue on. It may make a person feel uncomfortable to ponder where the loved one has laid to rest. This statement, while maybe very sincere, can provide uneasiness more than anything.
While there are no set rules for what to say to someone who has lost a loved one, common courtesy should prevail. Most people just want some form of comfort, and that doesn't have to be done verbally. A hug or squeeze of the hand can say what words sometimes can't.Share Article |
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