How to Adopt Your Stepchild?

Answer 1

Marrying someone with children that are not yours can be difficult and stressful. Once the dust settles, you may eventually find yourself wanting to adopt your stepchild or children. Such a situation should be handled delicately, since both your spouse and stepchildren may have strong feelings regarding the subject. This guide outlines the best way to go about it.

Step 1. Discuss the idea with your spouse. It’s important that you both agree that adopting the child is a good idea.

Step 2. You’ve decided to adopt your stepchild, but how does he feel about it? Talk to him, state your feelings and determine whether he wants the same thing. Some children love the idea, while others feel too strongly about their biological parent.

Step 3. Under the law, both parents must consent to the adoption. If the other parent passed away or abandoned the child, it’s possible to adopt without their consent. The definition of abandonment differs from state to state, but this typically means that the parent is not a participant in the child’s life. If the other parent still plays an active role, you must talk this over with him. Let him know that this is what his son or daughter wants. If he does not consent, back off and let your stepchild speak to him another day.

Step 4. Contact a lawyer to handle the adoption for you or do it yourself. If doing it yourself, request the appropriate documents from the court. There are plenty of websites that go into detail about the actual adoption process. Since you are the stepparent, the process will be much quicker compared to adopting a child that has no relation with you.

Step 5. Ask your stepchild what surname he would prefer. He can keep his current one, change it to match yours or simply add your surname before or after his own. Do not pressure him into adopting your surname. This choice is entirely his and something he should not regret.