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Becoming a parent is one of the most exciting and yet most stressful things you can do in life. As soon as it happens, people bombard you with parenting advice that contradicts what others have said and may even go against what you personally believe. Before you go and follow every bit of advice you receive, learn how to know what’s good advice and what needs to be ignored.

1. If something someone says doesn’t ring true with you, do some research—there have been countless studies done on the effects of different parenting types and habits. You will almost certainly be able to find research that either supports or disproves what you’ve been told. Research is a great tool for knowing what to follow and what not to follow, since it’s peer-reviewed and has probably been replicated by other scientists.

2. When someone gives you advice, smile politely and ask them how they learned what they’re telling you. If it’s from a course, a parenting instructor, or someone you trust, it may be good advice to follow up on. On the other hand, if the advice comes from one situation in their life that they’ve decided applies to everyone else’s situation, you may want to smile politely and forget their advice entirely.

3. Follow your instincts. Most of parenting comes naturally to us, since humans have been doing it for thousands of years. Occasionally, people will give you advice that they seem to be able to make a case for and defend. However, if it completely goes against what your gut feeling tells you is right, there’s probably a reason for it. Don’t ever do anything that you feel will harm your child or put them in danger.

4. Finally, when someone gives you parenting advice, evaluate how it works for them. How do they interact with their children? How do their children behave? If the bond they have with their children and their children’s behavior is in line with what you want for your kids, the advice could have merit. However, if they seem to have a poor relationship with their children or their children are poorly behaved, the advice is probably worth ignoring.

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15y ago

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