Rewarding Fatherhood

Answer 1

During last week’s episode of Mad Men, Don Draper sits at a table staring out the window. On the coffee table sits a journal in which he’s been jotting down thoughts on the advice of his counselor. But on this night Don can’t find the words that accurately reflect his thoughts about his career, marriage, and fatherhood.

The writers found the perfect balance in this scene, and it’s stuck with me since.

I’ve found myself in a similar situation. Long after the kids are down and my spouse is off reading a book, I’m sitting at my computer attempting to make sense of things. I often wonder about my performance at work and as a father and husband. I would bet every father has, at one time or another, felt the same.

At work, my performance is evaluated every six months. I know exactly where I stand with my manager and my company. When my performance is above average, I’m rewarded with more responsibility and a larger paycheck. I try to do my best, but I’ve been in the corporate world long to understand that many times rewardsare based less on what I achieve than whom I know.

The same performance based scale is notused at home. In fact, there is no “review” of my performance as a father and husband. Review schedules? Non-existent.

The rewards can be inconsistent at best. But it doesn’t mean they are absent. They may just take years before they are recognized as such.

Last night, when everyone was asleep, I tip-toed to my side of the bed only to find my 2-year old sleeping and taking up as much space as possible. I gently picked him up and held him in my arms before delivering him back to his bed. It won’t be long before my children are too big to hold.

Time spent helping my children with homework, applying bandages to scraped knees or running through the sprinklers may not seem as important to some compared to monetary rewards. But they would be wrong.

Because these are the best rewards a father can receive.

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