Understanding Adoption Realities Before You Adopt?

Answer 1

Adoption used to be something clouded in secrecy. Birth parents were ashamed and left out of the picture, adoptive parents struggled with what to tell their adopted children, and adopted children were left with many questions. Fortunately, for the most part, the cloud has lifted. Birth parents often participate in choosing the adoptive family, adoptive parents are often in contact with the birth family, and adopted children are more secure because they know more about their background.

While adding a baby or child to the family is a happy occasion, adoptive parents should prepare themselves for the very real issues they and their child may face. By the time you decide to start the adoption process, you have already been through a great deal. Many couples have struggled with infertility or other losses. Now it is time to move forward with a positive attitude and learn all you can about the process. The process can be daunting, but according to the Donaldson Adoption Institute, there are 1.5 million adopted children in the United States, so rest assured, you can get through it. Even before the formal adoption process begins, there are some realities to consider.

Biological mothers who place their babies for adoption often do not get proper medical care. Some of these mothers also have serious issues, such as drug addiction and genetic diseases, that can impact the health of the child. These issues occur in both domestic and international adoptions. Try to get as much information as you can about the health of the birth mother and her family.

All children--even newborns--placed for adoption have suffered a loss. Adoptive parents must plan on how to help their children come to an understanding of their background. Children raised in orphanages in different countries may have trouble connecting with people because they did not get the warm care and stimulation that a family gives. Children who have been in foster care may also have emotional issues. Perhaps they have been moved from one home to another, so they also lack the consistent connection with parents.

These realities may be difficult to accept, but it is vital to your family's future that you go into the process with understanding. Good medical care and good nutrition, along with lots of love and attention will help your child grow and thrive and overcome the difficult start he or she may have had.