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He was disloyal because he cheated on Penelope with Calypso and Circe. He was so afraid that Penelope was being unfaithful, yet he had two affairs

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At least with Circe, he could not help but to be unfaithful. Circe was a witch and made him sleep with her lest his men remain animals and he would never see Penelope again. In the case with Calypso, she said that her island had bound him there and that he was never allowed to leave. So yes, he had a choice whether to sleep with Calypso or not but he did. Guess he thought he might as well enjoy himself if it's going to be forever. Which, you can't blame the man. lol

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