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Was it the huns? Of course not, the Huns never went to England. Around 9000 BC, there were sharp half-Neanderthal crossbreeds, silent but knowledgeable; clicking and popping Capoids from Morocco; raspy Paleoindians from Scandinavia, who spoke with no vowels; and canny Old Europeans from the Caucasus, who were a mixture of everything. Then a bossy light-brown people from Ethiopia who reproduced at an alarming rate arrived and began to chase them all around. And this is all before the Indo- Europeans, our ancestors, arrived. We were still mucking around in Ethiopia, laughing like hell that the first wave had left.

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