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I have BPD and I can tell you, very honestly, that we do regret the things we do/say or how we act(ed). It's what I think separates us from being sociopathic. Personally I feel like my life is a constant apology to the people I hurt.

I can only speak for myself, but when I am having an "episode", usually anger, I say and do things that are so mean and so hurtful. I, myself, am aware that I am doing it but I can't control it. The emotions are so overwhelming that I get so consumed when something triggers my outburst that I act before I think.

Once calm, and my emotions have been regulated, (which can take a while for some), I usually go back to the person I fought with, filled with guilt and shame and I apologize.

Personally, when I apologize I know it's just a word and it doesn't take back anything I said or did. But I feel the regret so deeply, and it makes me overwhelmingly sad because I know in most cases I don't deserve forgiveness.

With BPD, especially if you have dealt with someone who has it, you must know it's a cycle. It's not something we can help, without seeking therapeutic help. It's not that we don't TRY because we do try our hardest to NOT have an episode, but our emotions are dysregulated and it's all we've known.

Patience and understanding will help you. Validating their emotions. But just know, when they do something hurtful, they feel regret IMMENSELY.

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12y ago

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