answersLogoWhite

0

Short, frank answer: He won't stop drinking until he is genuinely ready to do so.

What that takes is an individual assessment by the drinker; it is not something which is in your control. Hopefully it won't take him hitting rock-bottom before he realizes how much alcohol has affected him and his relationships negatively. He may have his "moment of clarity" at any point and save himself (you cannot save him). Or he may never stop drinking and drink himself to death, dragging every still-connected loved one down with him until this happens. Or he may go through cycles of abstinence and drinking.

In the meantime, you have to take care of yourself first and foremost, because your life goes on separately and regardless of his life. If you think the relationship is worth preserving, then there are ways to cope with it. Alanon exists for just such situations -- it is for loved ones of alcoholics and for other codependents. You can also learn how to "detach with love." Information about this is available online and is a key technique learned in Alanon.

Some questions to ask yourself:
Do you really want to be with this person?
What good does he offer you?
Why are you really with him?
What can you do to cope with his drinking and continue to live your own life? Are you prepared to do so?

Best wishes on your journey.

User Avatar

Wiki User

18y ago

What else can I help you with?