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Helen fisher anthropoligist has shown world wide divorce happens most commonly after four years the time taken for sex love and bonding to raise a child. Biologically a women is then ready to move to a new partner so sex becomes boring and familiar and loses appal. Women's libido is fine IF they find a new partner!!

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Why can't I get my husband after 40 years of marriage to want to make love to me after having a few affairs in the last 20 years even though he says he loves me his libido is nil when he is with me?

There is much more than sex that makes a good marriage and if he had several affairs then your marriage was in trouble during that 40 years of marriage and neither of you did anything to rectify the problems. Communication is the most important factor of a marriage where the spouses feel free to discuss any of their feelings with each other. A man can love his wife, but she may not listen to his needs (and visa-versa) and the needs in a human have to be filled and this is where the problems begin with one or both spouses cheating. A low libido can be caused from diabetes; heart problems (medications can lower the libido); antidepressants lower the libido of both men and women. Get your husband in for a good physical to be sure there is nothing going on regarding his low libido. It isn't always about the wife when a husband has a low libido. Sit down with your husband and discuss seeing a marriage counselor. A marriage counselor is not there to blame either spouse, but to find out where the root of their problem is and give them the tools to help them improve upon their marriage.


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