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Communication patterns are modes of communication that we use frequently in certain situations or with certain people. Some patterns may be prevalent, that is, appearing in most communications regardless of the situation, while many are situation-specific, that is, used with certain people (friends, spouse, children, boss) or in certain situations (at work, in conflict, in fear). Communication patterns can include all of the following and much more: · Apologising frequently · Self-criticism (eg. I'm such an idiot!) · Criticism of others · Complaining · Self-justification (eg. I spoke rudely because she was rude to me.) · Blaming (eg. If she hadn't forgotten the book, I wouldn't be angry.) · Peace-making (eg. It's alright. It didn't matter anyway. She didn't mean it.) · Praising (sincere or false) · Avoiding · Judging/labelling (usually begins with "You're…" or "Why are you so …?" or "If only you weren't so…") · Lecturing · Listening · Questioning (really asking to learn, or interrogating) · Insulting or otherwise trying to intimidate or belittle · Supporting (eg. You can do it. Of course you're a kind man.) · Self-disclosing (explaining one's own thoughts, motives, feelings, needs etc) · Self-concealing (hiding one's true thoughts, feelings, needs, motives etc.) · Gossiping (talking about others) · Expressing emotion by yelling, crying, throwing things, banging doors etc.

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