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It's rather simple really....

You see, first you must conjure a Stalin looking Italian man, preferably named Mario. This Mario is the gatekeeper for which all vibrators are accessed through the "Mushroom Matrix Mainframe. The Mainframe is a weaving spiral of multi-density beings capable of "key-mastering" and acquiring the phallic abraisors. The Man known only to humans as "Mario" jumps from a 2nd to 3rd dimensional plane, which we call reality, and proceeds to insert any "keys" into any willing or unsuspecting victims.

While the Mario may be on hallucinogenics during and prior to the ascension towards the vagina or anus, fear not, he is a complete professional and will not harm your hole in any way. Unless you happen to be an unsuspecting victim to his folly, as stated earlier.

All you have to do turn off your TV, say The Mario's name 14 times in the dark, turn left, skip right, stick your thumb up an anus (any anus really), and jump till your penis or clitoris becomes conscious and wishes to leave this physical manifestation and transcends unto the vibrator itself, therefore becoming one with the orgasm, and leaving A NASTY MESS.

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15y ago

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