What is the difference between gay and queer?

Answer 1

They are synonyms, but queer is generally used as a broader term to refer to anyone who doesn't fit into traditional categories. Also, some gay people do not like the term "queer" but its acceptance is increasing every year.

Answer 2

Gay is generally used for homosexual men. Queer was once a slur but is now a term used to describe anyone who is different in terms of sexuality or gender identity. But to understand the subtle differences in these words, you have to know the history of them.

Gay was never really an offensive word. It first meant "happy" or "lively." It may have had an underground meaning to mean a prostitute. Then around the 1960's or so, it began to be a euphemism for homosexual, or homophile which was a term used back then. Those words had a clinical feel, and gay men maintained there was nothing wrong with them. So obviously, they would not want to be connected with words used to justify cruel medical treatments.

Queer was once just a word used to describe something that was odd, strange, or different. Then over time, it became a hate slur. However, by 1990, one LGBT group reclaimed it, much like some African Americans call each other racial slurs, though unlike with racial slurs, outsiders were allowed to use the word queer as long as they used it in a manner that was not hateful.

Around the 1990's there was also a bit of a debate what to call LGBT people. While Gay was the term in use, not everyone felt included by it. Lesbians felt left out by the term. The term gay had the connotation of a happy, White, middle-class homosexual male. Some lesbians were very angry about their place in society and they weren't happy with being lumped in with men. So it became known as the Gay and Lesbian Community. Then there were the bisexuals. They felt left out by Gay and Lesbian since they also had heterosexual sex, and many people claimed they didn't exist. To exemplify this attitude, the comedian George Carlin once said, "You either [have oral sex] or you don't [have oral sex]." Then there were the transgendered people. While they are technically not gay on the basis of their gender identity, people often lump them in with gay and lesbian persons, and transgendered persons were involved in the 1960's gay riots. While most transsexual persons didn't want to be included, transgendered persons who never wanted surgery did, for whatever reasons.

As you can see, "gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender" is quite a mouthful. They figured it would be nice to have an easy to say word that was familiar and included everyone. Then they realized that the word Queer already existed. Everyone knows that word, and it is only one syllable long. Queer Nation, the activist group that reclaimed the word and made it popular again, had already removed most of the venom from the word. Thus in the mid to late 1990's the word began to be used in the names of buildings such as "Queer Center."

So the term gay is generally exclusive to male homosexuals, while Queer, in modern usage, is used to describe anyone who is different in terms of sexuality or gender identity. In old usage, Queer was an offensive slur, and before that, used to describe anyone who was different in any way, including people who suffered mental illness.