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There are many ways to be a freak in bed, but for this list I shall name only the most effective ways found in a 2007 study by a renowned group of British scientists.

- Make loud, geese-like honking noises when you are about to orgasm

- Smear mayonaise all over your partner and then clean it off with a vacuum

- "Accidentally" punch your partner in the face several times in a night

- Make love wearing Kiss make up while singing the national anthem

- Stealthily attempt to shove potatoes into various orifices when your partner isn't looking

- Get naked, only to don an astronaut costume and lie in bed motionless

- Begin to tear pieces of your own skin off and try to eat them

- Wear a fake mustache over (or under) your genitals

- Create nicknames for each other based on Garbage Pail Kids characters

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16y ago

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