Do you always love someone once you fall in love with them?

Answer 1

This is a tricky, but good, question. First let's assume that you actually DID fall in love with them, and the feelings weren't merely infatuation or desire for what you "can't have".

So, assuming this is real love, will you always love them throughout your relationship, whether the both of you remain together or not. I can say with a good amount of confidence that, in the very least, you will not always FEEL in love with a person, even if you still have a successful relationship with them. This is human nature and shouldn't be seen as a concern. The giddy, on-cloud-nine sort of feeling we often associate with love is a lot of energy and emotion to maintain, and so it's really near impossible to keep up those feelings 24 hours, 7 days a week. Especially when the couple is in an argument, feelings of love may be clouded by frustration or a feeling of exhaustion from the fighting.

Sometimes forces outside of the relationship will cause one or both partners to not to really "feel" in love, including; stress related to work, bills, or other social relationships, a traumatic event such as a sudden loss of a loved one, low self-esteem, and emotional or clinical depression.

Overall, to keep a love "alive" is really a choice involving both partners in the relationship. People will not always feel "in love", at least not the giddy sort of love we often think of. Sometimes it may only be a soft, content feeling, and that is perfectly fine. Love doesn't always have to be passionate, love has many sides and many different attitudes it can take on.

Another way to look at this question is after the relationship has ended, if you will still love that person then. This, I believe, depends on the person. Some people will always love their past partners, even though that love may be at a lower level than it was when they were together. This is often described as still "caring" for the person. The love is still there, but because the person has made the choice to end the relationship, they have also chosen not to keep their love for their past partner alive, and so that love softens into more of a friendship or close family-based love.

Other people, however, will force their love for their past partner to extinguish by holding on to past grudges and anger, or sometimes people will have the strength to simply let go of their feelings for their past partner, to the point where they feel nothing but neutral feelings towards their ex-relationship. Many people have found this a tremendously difficult task to do, and it is usually the more emotionally-sensitive that have the hardest time "letting go".

So will you always love them? Ultimately, it is a choice. Likely, yes, you will always love that person on some level, but usually not enough to interfere with any future relationships you might develop. If you are emotionally strong enough, you may be able to let go of your feelings, but if you can't don't be alarmed or feel weak, as most people don't have the emotional strength to ever fully let go of someone they loved.