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I'm in a similar situation and am taking the whole situation as a learning and growth experience, so I'll just share some of what I've learned. Everybody says to give up and move on. I've discovered that this is not the right answer, it's just the easy way out. First, you need to assess whther you love the ex enough to put in the work it's going to take to rebuild the relationship. Second, you have to honestly own what it is you did wrong to contribute to the demise of the relationship. You always contribute some negativity, it's never a one-sided thing. When you own up to your deal-breaking behaviours, you have to be willing to change. It's long, it's arduous, you'll be discouraged, but you have to be totally determined to stick it out. Keep being nice and friendly to your ex, even when he rebuffs you. Show that you still care, but don't ever say it. The two of you can sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk about what problems you both were having, and you have to demonstrate to him your changed personality. Over time the two of you can slowly rebuild the trust and rediscover the love and have a better relationship than before the breakup. It's a lot of hard work and self-sacrifice, but this is what a real relationship is. If you prefer the heady feeling of infatuation and being "in love" then the best route for you is to recover from the breakup and move on to the next relationship, like the usual advice says. Good luck and I wish you love.

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17y ago

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