How do I let a guy know that I want to be exclusive when I knew he was a player when we started dating He keeps asking me to be his girlfriend but he's still talking to another girl?

Answer 1

The easiest way to let a guy know that you want to be exclusive is to tell him what you DON'T want and tell him how his actions make you feel. Many times as women we don't want to say what we really feel because we're scared that he might not like it. So we stay stuck playing games with "the player" types hoping to change him.

So how do we fix this?

First you must figure out what you don't want. It sounds like you don't want to be in a relationship with any man who doesn't want to be with you and you only. That's why it bothers you that he talks to another girl. It also sounds like you truly don't want to scare him off by being too forward. That's understandable. We all feel this way from time to time.

So now that you have figured out what you want, now you have to express this to him in a way that will get right to his heart. That will make his ears perk up and pay attention. The way to get his attention is to tell him exactly what you're feeling. No attacks here. None of this: you did this and why didnt you do that. This isn't about him. It's only about how you FEEL.

So, the next time you talk with him, you say (in a very soft, feminine, almost a whisper type of way):

Do you mind if I tell you something? I feel off-balance and uncomfortable when I'm with you. I don't want to be involved with a man that is not exclusive. But I also don't want to put pressure you.

I feel good when I'm with you but it feels bad not to know where we stand. What do you think?

Then: ZIP YOUR LIPS. Really listen to what he has to say. You are not to interject. He may come back and say yeah you know what I dont want to hurt you but I'm not ready to be exclusive with you, or he might say I told you I'm a player, you know this about me. OR, he might have been scared to really make that first move and ask you. This might be the thing he's been waiting to hear!

No matter what happens, you've opened your heart to him. It will grab his attention so fast he won't even know what hit him.

Games don't work, tricks don't work, playing hard to get when you're really upset and angry on the inside actually makes his behavior WORSE.

Opening your heart and seeing how he treats your feelings is the fastest way to get the REAL relationship you deserve.

For more free dating advice for open minded women, visit www.datefromyourheart.com and learn more to open up your heart, stop playing games, and finally get the love you deserve.