How do you build trust with an infant?

Answer 1

You want your baby to associate you with comfort (love comes just a bit later). All children, including babies and newborn infants, are very perceptive to the tensions, stress, emotions, etc. of those around them, including infants. So to build trust with an infant, you need to keep the baby's comfort in mind with all you do or say around the baby. Always be calm with him or her and don't speak loudly or aggressively around him or her - especially while holding the baby. Some babies are natural born 'trusters', while others tend to be a bit more reluctant to trust so easily. But either way is normal, it's just part of their personality.

But all babies can become fearful with sudden movements, loud sounds, and even through instincts. Since babies can hear sounds even before birth, sounds are the first way babies begin to learn about the people and the world around them, so it's important to use sound as a way of gaining a baby's trust. It's also an important way of soothing a frightened baby, as well as teaching him or her you can be trusted as a source of comfort (emotionally, as well as physically).

Many people tend to speak 'baby talk' to newborns, which is OK at times, but for the most part, it's best to speak in a normal, yet calm, soothing voice to the baby. Of course, this doesn't include playtime with the baby, which is important. Babies need emotional, visual, and verbal stimulation. So by all means, coo, use baby talk and giggle when playing with the baby, just don't get too rough or too loud, which can scare the baby.

When reaching for the baby, especially before the baby is familiar with you, don't make sudden moves towards him or her, just gently reach your arms out towards the baby and then pick him or her up. While holding the baby, don't make fast or sudden moves, which can scare him or her.

Babies can pick up on tension around them, which can make them nervous, cranky, and even fearful. So it's best to not argue or talk loudly or aggressively around them, especially while holding them. When nursing, bottle feeding, or just rocking a baby, normal conversation is fine, there's no need to whisper. In fact, you want babies to become used to the sound of normal conversation, as well as the natural sounds of a home, such as the TV, radio, telephone, etc., as well as the sounds of other children in the home playing.

Since babies can pick up on your emotions, it's important to try not to show negative emotions around the baby, especially anger. Some babies can feel the tension when someone holding them is upset, even if they aren't saying a word. So it's important to wait and have that good cry or an argument with your spouse when you aren't holding the baby.

When a baby picks up on tension, it can cause him or her to become nervous, cranky, and even cause the baby to not eat much or sleep well if the tensions aound him or her go on for any length of time. Of course, it's impossible to never feel tension, and since babies need frequent tending to, there's no way to never be around, or tend to, a baby when going through something emotional or difficult. But it's important to try to control those negative emotions while holding, feeding, or tending to the baby.

Babies, including newborns (after their vision is fully developed soon after birth) can also be quite perceptive with facial expressions. Studies have shown that babies can tell the difference between an angry glare and a pleasant expression on a person's face. Think of the times you've seen a small baby in a supermarket and smiled at him or her, and then the baby smiled back. It's the same thing; they relate through sounds, body language, and facial expressions.

And never, under any circumstances, yell at a baby. Yes, it's often frustrating when a baby cries a lot, especially for new parents who are tired and not getting much sleep. But never let your fatigue or frustations take over and cause you to take it out on the baby by yelling at him or her. A baby will have no idea why he or she is being yelled at, and won't even know the screaming is directed at them, but they will sense it. And this can cause the baby to fear you, and even mistrust you. And it will only cause them to cry even more.

And surely this goes without saying, but never, ever, under any circumstances hit a baby, not even a light 'tap' on the bottom through a diaper. Even a light tap through the thickness of a diaper can scare a baby, and make him or her feel fearful and threatened. Parents, baby sitters, and nannies have been known to spank an infant, usually out of frustration when the baby keeps crying. Not only is this the worse thing you can do as far as gaining a baby's trust, but it's child abuse, as well.

A baby will have no idea why it's being hit, but it will learn to not trust you once you do hit or yell at him or her. The same also goes for shaking a baby. Many babies have actually been killed by SBS (Shaken Baby Syndrome), and many have been rendered paralyzed for life, and some end up in a vegetative state from which they never recover. So if you find yourself in an exhaustive, frustrated, bundle-of-nerves state of mind, call someone to come help you. Ask them to tend to the baby while you get some much needed rest. It's not worth the risk to your baby's life!

You want your baby to associate you with comfort, love, and happiness. So by paying attention to your body language, your words and the tone of your voice, facial expressions, and your own emotions, you can quickly teach a baby to trust you. But once you do gain a baby's trust, don't break that trust. Trust is a priceless, fragile thing and, once broken, is so difficult to repair or regain.

Answer 2

Play with them and show them you care