How do you flip the script in relationships?

Answer 1

You don't. It is this sort of thinking that results in abusers being created from victims and ensures that the 'victims' go from one abusive relationship to another in the long term. The answer is not to become the abuser through 'empowerment' but instead to correct the lopsided-relatedness with a normal balance. There are no hierarchies in healthy relationships.

Some relationships elect a more dominant figure, but this is never taken through force except in abusive situations. Quite honestly, it sounds like you are the problem in this relationship, not your partner. You could be both equally guilty, but you are no innocent bystander. It is only an abuser that would deal with 'power' in this way. You should seek some counseling, and stop trying to manipulate others by displaying yourself as the victim.