How do you get help to heal if you were physically and emotionally abused by your violent father and he beat up your mother and your sisters?

Answer 1

First, go to a counselor. There are plenty who deal with that kind of problem and unfortunately, there are plenty of violent men around who don't understand the concept of PROTECTING their family instead of harming them.

You'll get advice on how to deal with your mother, sisters and your father when you talk to an abuse counselor. Womens shelters are often a good place to start, even if you've moved out of the abusive home, you can talk to those people and get some good advice.

Remember, we aren't all that way and there are plenty of good men who know how to protect their families. Unfortunately, many women tend to be attracted to men who were just like their fathers and seem to be surprised when they find out that their man is abusive. Drugs, alcohol and sexual perversions are all warnings that too many young women do not heed and they end up in a bad relationship. Be smarter than those young women.

Good luck.

AnswerMy father did this too. Not so much to my sisters and mother as much as myself and one of my 3 other sisters. Its awful. It ruins any chance at any self esteem, I can fully understand that. You HAVE to understand it is NOT you, it has never been you. It is there own fault, they were brought up around it, they think it is normal. It is not normal. What happens next, and I then did this too, is you end up with men who treat you the same way. You make poor choices or no choices because you don't think you deserve anything. At my worst I lived with a man so abusive I thought I was going to be killed. I "slept" with a loaded gun and a loony in my bed. I had panic attacks. My hair started falling out. I have 3 children with 2 different men because I cannot deal with life. What finally worked for me was an old friend. One I hadn't seen since high school. He told me I was beautiful, that I was funny, that I was smart. I didn't believe him, but I thought after hearing these things so much, I must not be THAT bad. After a year of this I finally realized it was NOT me. I was not that bad. I may not be truelly beautiful, but I wasn't that ugly either. You HAVE to find a source to talk to. Many is great, but atleast one. A councilor if you haven't got any close friends, or both. You are not a bad person, but until you truelly feel this way any friendship and relationship will only break you down more. You will continue to gravitate toward people who take advantage of you until you realize that you have great value in the world and you opinion counts. It is imparitive that you see that you are wonderful and it does not make you concieted at all, you live only once and you need no regrets.

Answer 2

your family would be a good place to start for help. if they are not going to help you, go to the Pastor of your Church. If you don't have a church, get one and go regularly--where The Bible is preached. While you hear the Good News you will receive strength. Ask God for the Wisdom to know what to do...He will give it, as He promised in His Word. Then, tell people about the abuse, take pictures and document the dates in a safe place so. Go to the Dr. or hospital to document when necssary. After you have located the abused women's shelter in your area, call police when marks are left on your body by the abuser so there is proof, and the police will remove him for that day. Afterwards, if you have children--find somewhere safe for them to be when he returns--and anytime he is likely to act abusive (when drinking, etc.). It is a choice between a miserable life or an uncertain future...you must choose.