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I think letting down children goes with the territory, no matter what your philosophy is. It is because they are individual people and they can see actions of others differently than they were intended. Giving them what they ask for and what you think they will want to keep them happy doesn't guarantee that they really received what they wanted and you can't make anyone happy. Just be the best mom you can be for each kid--you shouldn't treat them equally since they each have different needs. Let them know that you love them and are glad they are here and let them work for or contribute to the things they get and they will be well-prepared for the outside world.
I tried to do it ALL with my eldest son when I was 27 and he was 1...couldn't do it and the best illustration of that was about that time (1980) a Basketball star spent a day doing everything a 2 year old did...well he tried.

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