How do you get your ex-boyfriend back when he used you and lied to you but you cannot forget him no matter what he did?

Answer 1

You should grow up and learn to demand a higher standard of behavior from a relationship. I agree! Sometimes when we have feelings of love for another person, it can be almost impossible to believe that we will ever get over that person, especially when we are young. Thoughts of that person appear to refuse to go away no matter how the other person has treated us. I would like to share with you what I learned later in life and I hope it will help you. When younger, I always reasoned with my feelings, not my head. I had several times when I thought I would never get over a break-up with someone I loved, but I did. Now, here is what I learned in my 40's: Women think and act according to their hearts and feelings. Men, on the other hand, think and act according to reason and logic. I am not implying that men do not have feelings. They certainly do, but they do not generally make decisions based on feelings. It's a Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus type of thing and it might help you to read that book. Because women base their actions at times on feelings, especially when a relationship is involved, it makes them very vunerable and prone to make a lot of mistakes. In your situation, I know you are hurting and it will not do a thing for you to tell you that your hurt over this boy will eventually go away. It is just not that simple. You need something that will help you now. Let's try this: I want to say to think logically, but I honestly do not believe that will work. Let's try the cold, hard truth instead. You said yourself that the boy used you. That is the same as stating he never cared about you. And what did he use you for? If it was sex, the boy may simply have wanted that and nothing else. While sex usually makes a girl feel closer to a boy, it is certainly not always that way for the boy. If he did not use you for sex, then he used you for something else. It does not matter what he used you for. Using another person is using, period, and the only thing that happens to the used person is they get hurt. Don't make the mistake of thinking if he just will come back he will fall in love with you, or at least stay with you. While that could happen, it is not likely. What is highly likely to happen is that you will just get used and hurt again. You also said he lied to you. Even if you were to get this boy back, what makes you think he would not just come back to use you and lie to you? The most important question I believe you need to ask yourself is this: What about me causes me to want a boy back that used me and lied to me no matter how I feel about him? Answering that question can save you a world of hurt and mistakes in life. I know because I have been there. I lived my life from my early teenage years to about 10 years ago allowing myself to be hurt by relationships because I based my decisions on feelings and emotions instead of logic and sound judgement. I did this because I believed the love from another human being (a man) would make my life great. It doesn't work that way. You first have to respect and love yourself. Please, no matter how you feel about this boy and how much you are hurting, examine yourself and find out the reasons you would allow yourself to be used and lied to and still want this boy back. Your course in life could be greatly changed by doing this. I know my life would have been. I hope you will consider everything I've said. If you want to talk more, please notice that there is a Discusion tab beside the answer tag on the question page. You can post any questions or say more on the discussion. I hope all the best for you, but my greatest hope is that you will work through the hurt you are experiencing and not allow that boy to return to your life under any circumstances.