How do you get your new husband to understand what love really is?

Answer 1

In my 63 years I've never heard of a good explanation as to what love is. This word is the most popular word thrown around the world, but my adage is "talk is cheap, action speaks."

Sometimes two people have different ideas as to what love really is. Your boyfriend or husband may think as long as they provide for you, put a roof over your head and food in your tummy this is a sign of love, while yet another man may be very romantic and shower you with gifts and spoil you rotten. Both are love if that person does not harm you in any way and basically makes you happy. Sometimes true love is quiet and just because someone tells you all the time they love you doesn't make it so. I'll put my bet on the guy (like my own husband) who doesn't tell me he loves me every waking moment, but on occasion. I trust him, and I know he loves me. Love doesn't have to be explained.

I have no idea why you seem to think that you have the answer to what love really is, because the wisest men in the world haven't answered that question to date. I think love is what makes you comfortable, the joy of seeing that person, trust, respect and knowing you will be there no matter what.

Also, it is quite common when dating that each person puts their best foot forward to impress the other. Once marriaged it takes time to get use to each other. Some men almost right away feel they no longer have to impress their new bride. She's theirs! This is where communication comes in and you will need to do this throughout your married life. Being honest about your feelings to your mate is healthy, and if it bothers you I suggest you sit down and discuss it rationally.

It is also important as mates that we learn from each other. One person can be quiet and calm, while the other is very extroverted and "out there." It's a great balance if you learn from each other.

Good luck Marcy

You should have known these things PRIOR to getting married.

You can't and don't find out everything before you get married. My husband and I have been together for 8 years and married 3 of them. I'm still learning him, I don't particularly think people change, but they do change their ways.