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Did he break up with you? If he did, he is still dangling himself in front of you in order to get his way. He 'won't let it happen' because he enjoys the sex and attention you provide him, but doesn't want a committed relationship with you, and knows if he tells you this, you would stop being available to him as a sex buddy.

While you both have been seeing other people as well, your ex is continuing to use you as his 'backup plan'---someone easily available for him to get attention and sex from---for as long as he doesn't find anyone better. Once he finds someone he feels suits him better overall, you will be dropped like a hot potato, with no explanations.

If you don't want this, protect yourself emotionally. Let him know you can no longer be in contact with him until he is on the same page as you about wanting a committed relationship. Then comes the hardest part---don't contact him and don't respond to his contacts to you unless he makes it crystal clear that he wants an committed relationship with you. Don't give in to any vague promises; the minute you start giving him no strings sex and attention, you'll be back at square one.

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17y ago

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